The Make Up Tale
by kagje94
Summary: <html><head></head>The sequel of Disaster Story. How does Haley cope after seeing the New Blonde in Nathan presence. Does Nathan respond to Haley's Note positive, Negative of Not at all. Yes or No, Haley's coming to Duke.</html>
1. Picking up

**Hi everyone! After a long! wait here is the Sequel to Disaster story. It took me a while to find the inspiration to pick it up and do it right. Easter Weekend was splendid weather and so I was reading rather than writing; but reading always inspires me; so since my country celabrates 2 easter days (god knows why?) I used that second one to get some really good stuff on paper! or atleast it was stuff that feels good to me.  
>So here is the first chapter of the Make up Tale as a sequel to Disaster story . Enjoy!<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1:Picking up<strong>

Nathan plunged into her again and again, as he relished in the pure extensity that run through his body as she had her finger nails ducked in his skull while knotting his hair. "Oh Nathan, god Yes! I'm close!" The desperate moans of the girl beneath him, spurred him on. He picked up the pace and groaned loudly: 'Oh Babe.." the words came out strangled barely understandably. Feeling her heels dig into his ass he plunged in deeply once more before pushing her over the edge. He followed only three thrusts later, collapsing on top of her.

Nathan tried to catch his breath as he rolled off of his girlfriend and lay on his back next to her. "God that was good.." He grinned. She swatted her arm, before rolling on her side to face him with an equally big grin on her face. "Definitely.." Nathan closed the distance between their lips and captured hers with his. She responded, rolling her tongue over his bottom lip and slipping it in. She swept it through his mouth and pulled away. "Better." She leaned him to pick up her watch en looked at it. "Oh god, I gotta go babe." She pressed her lips to his once more before jumping out of bed and putting her disregarded clothes back on. "Aw.. You're gonna make me feel cheap, Peyt, I never considered you to be the Love 'em and Leave 'em type." Peyton swirled around, butting up her blouse, grinning. "Sorry babe, I promised Mia, I'd help her with her assignment for her music class."

"Just, come back as soon as you're done, I'm not done with you..." He grinned and slapped her ass as she turned around to leave. 'You can count on it." She said before disappearing with a knowing grin on her face.

Nathan sighed and fell back in bed. God, she was amazing. He loved his life as it was right, so simple. As the life of any freshman in college should be. Not living together, not worrying about having a baby, or about marriage. After everything with Haley he had almost forgotten that life could actually be really simple, that there was no reason for it to be extremely complicated!

Nathan slowly got up out of his bed and pulled on a pair of boxers from the floor. He kicked aside a couple of books in the process of grabbing his shower equipment and made his way to the bathrooms. He sought out an unoccupied stall to shower and showered.

Whenever he woke up with Peyton next to him, it reminded him of how simple life really was. That was because when he woke up he still expected Haley to be the girl by his side, so whenever he saw she wasn't, it reminded him that that was this complicated high school life. Peyton represented his simple college life.

Nathan ran his hands over his sour muscles and let the hot water do its job.

He cared for Peyton. She'd been very understanding of the issues of his previous relationship and had agreed to take theirs slow. They had.  
>they'd only started having sex three weeks ago, while officially they'd had been dating for over three months. And he'd been fine with that. He needed to restructure his life and that cost time. He was completely programmed with; his steady girl Haley, finishing college, getting to the NBA, Marrying Haley, Having a family with Haley.<p>

That had been his life. It was like changing gears, to go from that to his girlfriend Peyton, Playing ball, dreaming of the NBA.

He turned off the shower en grabbed his towel. Though it took some getting used to, he was surprised how easy it was not to dwell over the past. His fresh start was symbolized by Peyton when he met her at the beginning of the year, without knowing. All that came after that previous semester was just the tail of an long overdue break up. He'd had actually always know Haley would be the one to end their relationship. She had always been the one with the biggest vote. Being with her, required a hell of a lot of respect for her, or she wouldn't put up with it.

No more of that either. His relationship with Peyton was equal.

Nathan stepped out of the stall and grabbed his stuff from inside and headed back to his dorm.

Clay looked up at his roommate as he entered. "Hey, man.." Nathan greeted him. 'where did you disappear to last night?" Clay grinned devilish. "I Met the most amazing chick... Let's just say we... I tapped it."

Nathan rolled his eyes. He wished his life to be easy, sleeping around instead of having a relationship , wasn't easy, Clay didn't feel that way.

"So... how was your night.. Peyton stay over?" Nathan opened a drawer for his underwear. "Yeah,.. you were here.." He grinned and got out a pair of clean boxers. Before he closed the drawer, he picked up the envelope that lay between his underwear..

It was the last he had heard of Haley. It was the day he and Peyton started being together for real. He'd read the note, if were lyrics, probably to one of Haley's own songs. She missed him. When I read it, for a moment his heart warmed and he had hope. But as he read the words again, it didn't seem like she wanted him back. Just that she was sorry and missed him, but that it was good the way it was – And it was.

He put down the note and closed the drawer. Nathan went on getting dressed and then grabbed a basketball.

"Hey, I'm gonna shoot around for a bit. If Peyton comes back tell her to call me.." He said to Clay and opened the door. "Okay, later man!" Clay replied as Nathan pulled the door shut behind him.

Nathan jogged down the hall and at the end of the hall he knocked on a door. He heard some shuffling, but then the door opened. "Hey, you wanna come shoot around?" He asked his brother.

Lucas ran a hand through his hair, "Uhm... I can't I'm a little busy..." Nathan looked passed Lucas and saw a half naked Brooke in his brothers bed. "Uhm.. Hey, Brooke." Brooke giggled and waved. "Hey Nate.."

"Never mind.. have fun.." he muttered and took off..

Without Lucas, Nathan proceeded to the court on Duke grounds. Luckily the school year was coming to a close and he had survived his freshman year. For the summer he was going to stay with his Uncle Cooper, partly because the guy lived in Florida, but f he was honest it was more because he was nowhere near ready to be around Haley.

But after this summer he hoped to be able to avoid that for a very long time. After all, Haley was going to College herself in September and then she'd be picking up her life and forget about him, like he had about her.

That was the plan; now he just had to make it through the summer without seeing her.

Luckily, Peyton was coming with him to Florida, so he was positive that having an unforgettable summer would be easy.

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><p>Is it good? Continue? Or down the toilet and neve speak of again? Let me know?<p> 


	2. Where we left off

**Hey everyone! So i figured Quick update to answer all your doubt about the story.  
>So let me be clear: THIS, just like the previous story, IS A NALEY FANFIC! it's a sequel to disaster story which is also a Naley story. It's all about the struggle of Nathan and Haley to find their way back to each other, while the world seems to work against them and everything they is misinterpreted..<br>So chap 2! enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2. Where we left off...<strong>

So it was 4 in the afternoon when Haley closed the door behind herself and plopped down on her bed. "I'm dead." She stated while laying back on her new bed. "I hear ya girl. I do not have the energy to unpack." Brooke replied.

It was a couple of days before the start of the semester and due to some hideous trick of fate, Haley had found herself accepted to Duke university, something that would have been great year ago, but only now turned out to be the remaining piece of her broken relationship with Nathan, one he'd never wanted to fix once he'd moved on.  
>Because of this relationship, she hadn't replied to any other University, firstly because with her grades she was guaranteed to be accepted, and secondly because going anywhere else hadn't been an option.<p>

So she went. Haley kept telling herself that she was there with Brooke, and Brooke was going because of Lucas, and that Lucas was there so that was enough reason to go to Duke. I would have nothing to do with Nathan.

But of course Nathan had been the only reason. When she originally applied, and now still. Though he'd never answered to her note and she hadn't spoken to him since that day that she told him she couldn't trust him anymore, she still had a silent hope of finding her way back to him.

She wasn't dense, she'd heard plenty of stories from Brooke, who had visited Duke often because of Lucas, and Lucas himself about Nathan and his well going relationship with the blonde from the driveway that day in December, that apparently went to Duke. So she knew Nathan had moved on and even appeared to be satisfied with his life as it was.  
>That day in December was the last time she'd seen him. After he never replied to her note so could only assume he wished to have nothing to do with her anymore and wanted a life less complicated than the one she represented. The fact the Blonde he was dating, went to Duke as well and he was seeing her days after he'd given up on their relationship, meant he'd been close to her during the never ending drama last fall.<p>

The tragedy that included, Nathan's fright of having a baby with her and then the aspirin drama, her sister Taylor had caused.

Speaking of the devil. She hadn't spoken to Taylor since, she came clean about almost killing her. That was then true, and it was still. Haley had still no intention of mending her broken relationship with her older sister.

Now that the beginning of her Freshman year at Duke university started in only a mere couple of days, Haley anxiety levels were through the roof. For now she was going to avoid seeing Nathan, knowing that seeing him might stir up a whole lot a trouble she didn't want the first day of her college life. For instant she did not wish to be known to the Entire school as the trouble ex girlfriend of their big basketball Hero Nathan Scott.  
>She'd rather be known as Haley James, Nerd, again. It was a label she was much more comfortable with. As for being Nathan's ex.. Haley wished not to run the same circles as Nathan and therefore it would not be impossible, not to run into him. Duke was big enough after all.<p>

If Nathan even knew she was coming to Duke; something he surely would not have expected, he wasn't going to look for that confrontation, after all, he'd been avoiding her. He'd spend spring break previous semester at Duke and his entire Summer with his uncle Cooper in Miami, Florida.

Now that she was here, he'd have to get a little more creative, because... Well, she wasn't done trying. She would give him a week or what to get used to the idea or inform his girlfriend, but she wasn't resting until she would be resting peacefully with him next to her.

Writing that note, seeing him with the Blonde, him not replying; it had all triggered a need within her not to be forgotten by him. A need for him that made her realize; she stood no chance in the world without him by her side.

So though a part of her was scared to death of what was to come and she knew she'd probably get her heart broken more than once in the next year. Haley wrote down in her list of this year's predictions; "by the end of the year, Nathan and I will have patched things up; We'll be together and We'll be stronger than ever."

She folded up the piece of paper and put it in the little old rusted soap bin. "Good night Brooke."

Brooke opened one eyes ; "Yeah, Good night Hales." And she closed it.

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><p><strong>Tada!<br>What Haley exactly wants is still a little unclear.. to her, to me and therefore to you guys.. it'll be typically girlish... she can't make up her mind just yet...**

Love Philine


	3. If I Could    I Would

**I'm going on a school trip to Rome tomorrow so I thought I'd give you this update right before I leave! Haley confronts nathan. I hope you enjoy! All Ideas always welcome! By the way: THIS IS A NALEY STORY! NALEY'S SEPARATION IS TEMPORARALY!**

**Chapter 3. If I could... I would**

"She's where!" Nathan breezed infuriated. "Why! Isn't she done ruining my life yet?" he exclaimed.

Lucas looked at him sceptically and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah.. 'cause she's the one that left you when you were ill..." the sarcastic comment from Lucas' side hit hard with Nathan. "I apologised for that! She pushed me away; she ended it! She has no right to come to Duke now." Lucas shook his head and sat down on his bed.

He'd waited as long as possible to tell Nathan that Haley and Brooke were coming to Duke. But when Nathan saw Brooke and Lucas together at the campus Cafe, for lunch the second day of school, Lucas couldn't keep quiet much longer. It would only be a matter of time before he would spot Haley as well.

"Listen Nate, first off. Haley applied with you. For you. So she had already been excepted; secondly; she's her with Brooke and she's my best friend. That gives her enough reason to come here, without it having anything to do with you." Lucas got up from the bed and began grabbing stuff together. "Now come on or we'll be late for practice."

Nathan breezed in white heated anger. He was mad that no one told him about Haley and that she was here at all; Hanging out with his brother. He didn't need to working her way back into his life.

Haley exited her last class as her phone beeped. She had been making sure to avoid all places she could run into Nathan and that meant seeing Lucas in public as well. She'd been keeping a low profile for the past week and she had to admit the longer to prolonged seeing Nathan, the more she dreaded it.

She pulled her phone out of her bag and opened the text she got from Lucas. "_Nate knows."_ Oh boy.. Haley sighed. Now she had to see him. There was no reason to avoid him anymore. She took a deep breath and made her way back to her dorm where she found Brooke;

Haley opened the door to her dorm and accidently slammed it into Brooke's back. The silly girl was dancing through the room singing loudly and extremely off key along with a glee song. Brooke grinned sheepishly . 'Oh.. hey.."  
>Her face immediately grew more seriously. "Oh Lucas and I ran into Nathan and Lucas told Nathan, because if you hadn't had class than you would have been there with us and then he would have seen you and according to Lucas he kind of freaked when he told him so I'm kind of freaking out here because I love you and I don't want you to leave but if Nathan hates you, you're going to run away and I don't want that!"<p>

"Brooke!" Haley interrupted Brookes ramble. "Stop rambling! I'm not running away and Nathan doesn't hate me; he loves me." Brooke sighed and sat down. "It's a thin line Hales."

Haley shook her head and placed her bag on her desk chair before sitting down next to Brooke on her bed. "Hon, I love Nathan and I always will. I'm not here to fix me and Nathan. I'm here to get my degree and to see if Nathan and I have a shot at being together." Haley patted Brookes shoulder and got up. "So If it'll make you feel better I'll go talk to him tonight."

Haley walked to her desk emptied her bag and began her homework. She would always have work to focus on. Because Nathan wasn't likely to always be a steady factor in her life. She was committed to getting Nathan back. But she wasn't going to make it a hunt. She needed him to want her back. Because even though she pushed him away when he apologised... He was the one that took someone else instead of bouncing back...

It was about a week later that Haley finally had the courage to face Nathan. It was late on a Thursday night, after class and finishing up her homework for class the next day, that Haley walked the mere two stairs up to Nathan's dorm. She could have easily done this a hundred times in the last two weeks. Right? It seemed to simple; walk up to stairs, knock on a door.

But she'd been dreading it, putting it off, keeping on making excuses as to why it was a good reason not to do it. Right then she was hoping that her phone would ring, she'd suddenly feel sick, she'd see someone she knew and to talk to. But the hallway was empty and her phone wasn't ringing. She was all out of excuses and she did actually feel sick. Sick with nerves in her stomach to the point she might actually throw up. She fiddled with the ring on her pinkie finger.

67.  
>This was it, the only thing that stood between her and Nathan right now was this door.. (and the possible fact he wasn't home. ) She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Once more hoping to god, it wouldn't open.<p>

"Hello?" Haley looked up from her feet as she heard an unfamiliar voice. "Can't it help you?" In front of Haley stood the tall green eyed blonde girl. His girlfriend.

But in some weird messed up way, it didn't make her more insecure of scared, but exactly the opposite. Haley felt encouraged. This girl only was Nathan's 'uncomplicated' girlfriend. She had been the love of his life. She was the love of his life.

"Hi, I'm sorry. I'm Haley." The girls eyes widened. "Haley James." Haley smiled kindly and reached out her hand as a courtesy. The girl seemed to need an moment to recover, but then an uncanny smile appeared on her face. One the crept Haley out. "Peyton. Peyton Sawyer." She said. "Nathan's girlfriend."

Haley fought her amused eyebrow as it wanted to rise of her forehead at the comment. "I'm looking to Nathan is he here?" Haley asked, trying hard to remain civil with the girl that gave her a whole bunch of weird vibes.

"Oh, yes he is.. but he's asleep." At that Haley raised two eyebrows. "at 9 pm.?" Peyton nodded with that same uncanny smile. "I wore him out... It's cute really." That might have been enough to make her actually throw up, hadn't it been for the fact that she knew Nathan used to like to watch her as she slept after sex. And had always been a light sleeper unless he was drunk. So whether or not they had sex, she clung to the fact that it couldn't possibly have meant as much as what she'd shared with Nathan.

"She should wake him, he's a light sleeper anyways.." she commented calmly. She was impressed with herself with how well she kept it together. "you think?" Peyton chuckled sarcastically, he sleeps like the dead.  
>"Only when he's drunk." Haley muttered a little annoyed. The girl seemed convinced that she knew Nathan better because they had been dating for almost a year and Haley hadn't seen him in over a year. Bullshit.<p>

"I'll wake him up no problem." Haley pushed passed the girl(for some reason Haley kept on referring to Peyton as the girl, rather than giving her a name..) "Hey! He's not dressed!" She complained.

Haley started to feel more and more confident, as the girl started to annoy her more and more.  
>"Nothing I haven't seen before darling." Haley muttered and walked to the bed where Nathan lay asleep. Covered by sheets and snoring like a bear in winter rest. Seeing him like that made her smile..<br>It had been a long time since she last saw him at all, let alone like that.

He still made her heart race. Even more than it ever had. She supposed the person who said; absence makes the heart grow fonder, was right.

"you should leave, you can't just barge in here and he doesn't want to see you!" Haley turned her head away from Nathan and to Peyton. 'Is that what he tells you? That he hates me? That he doesn't want to see me?"

Peyton nodded.  
>"You're probably right, that he says that. But he doesn't hate me. He's hurt, and upset with me. Seeing someone you loved but denied your love hurts.. that's why it took me so long to come and see him."<p>

Peyton closed the door and walked to Haley. "What are you doing here? He's done with you. He has been for a long time now. Let the past be the past."

"let the future to be future." Haley said. "Nathan is my past, my present and my future, he always will be." She said as she sat down on the edge of his bed. "I'm his family and he's mine. I don't tend to give up on family that easily."

She brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead. "You should go. As you see he's asleep you won't be able to wake him for a few more hours." Peyton told her.

Haley ignored her and pinched his nose, making the snoring stop. For a moment it was quiet and suddenly Nathan awoke gasping for air. "Hi, sleepy." Haley grinned. Nathan rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up in bed. He squinted his eyes. "Haley?" She gave him a weak smile. "hi."

"What are you doing here and what do you want?" He snapped.

Haley got up from the bed. "I came to talk to you. Brooke told me and Lucas told you about the fact that I go to school here. So I know that you know that. I wanted to talk to you about that."  
>Nathan grunted and sighed. "Why? I thought it went just fine. You've been here a month or so and if you hadn't stopped by I would still haven't seen you."<p>

"that's right. That's also about to end. Lucas is my best friend so is Brooke. Lucas is your brother. We are bound to meet again."

"Why? Again it didn't in the past month." He countered.

Haley nodded; "True. That is because for the past month I've been carefully avoiding you and therefore any social interaction with my friends outside of class or my own dorm room." Haley paced the room as she talked.

"You might understand I'm not about to walk on eggs for the next three years to accommodate you, I won't."  
>"Therefore, I suggest you get used to having me around. I'm going to around. Whether or not you like that."<p>

Haley picked up the box of aspirin from his nightstand. "I'm not you keen on these anymore, as you might understand but uh... I'm guessing you could use them. If not now that tomorrow morning." She threw the box at him. "Don't make it a daily thing it'd will kill you slowly. Bye love."

With that Haley turned around and left the dorm with her head high and a good feeling. She was in charge and soon Nathan would come crawling back.

"What the fuck just happened." Peyton said as she closed the door behind Haley. Nathan sighed. "That was Haley in a way I've never seen her before."

Peyton sat down next to Nathan, "She wants you back Nathan..." she sighed. Nathan shook his head thinking of what the card that was in his drawer said. She wants me back. That's all he wanted to hear a year ago... but now he was hurt nd upset with her, and frankly, he was gone with her."

"I don't want her back. Her lose." Peyton hugged him and kiss his lips. " You are the best." She said kissing him.  
>"but how did she know you were going to need the aspirin?" Nathan looked out the window and sighed; "We lived together for two years.. she knows me inside out."<p> 


	4. Pushing boundaries, Crossing lines

**Hi everyone! Sorry It's been awhile i've been so damn busy! i update shortyly before I went to Rome for a week and after I had school and all so I really had no time to write so I wrote you guess this, this weekend. I hoep you like it. I wanna emphise THIS IS NOT A PATHAN STORY! It's a NALEY STORY!  
>So Haley quest for nathan continues!<br>i hope you love this chap as much as I do!**

**- Philine**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4. Pushing boundaries, Crossing lines.<strong>

"Arg! You again?" Nathan plopped down in the booth next to Lucas and glared at Haley. Haley merely return the glare with a smile and continued her discussion with Brooke.  
>"I know that you are, working on your clothes still, but are your selling to anyone?" She asked Brooke. Nathan had been complaining about her frequent presence.<br>Peyton plopped down next to Nathan, about as frustrated as Nathan himself. She liked Lucas and Brooke, though Brooke talked too much and said too little, but she'd barely been able to communicate like a friend with them ever since Haley started joining them at daily lunches in the cafe around the corner, from the Duke dorms.

"No, last time I tried that it blew up in my face remember?"  
>Haley chuckled; "Oh I remember that! You went all sewing Nazi on our asses!" The girls burst into a fit of giggles; "Oh I wasn't that bad!"<br>"No you were worse!"

Peyton casted a look of annoyance as the girls laughed and giggled like 6 year old girls. The laughter died as Haley caught this look. She wasn't an idiot, Peyton was miserable since she had started joining her friends for lunch. And personally she was loving it. Not only was it the fact that she had put a massive hold on the bonding between the girl and her best friends, but also did she royally enjoy flirting with Nathan shamelessly over their happy couple memories. Naturally Peyton was blowing steam.

"Brooke, you remember that dress you made for me for the boys' prom? The purple number?" Haley filled the silence with a mischievous smile on her face. Brooke looked up surprised that she mentioned that. The dress had been short – very short – and low cut – very low cut. Nathan hadn't been able to keep his hands or eyes of Haley the entire night. They ended up leaving early to go home and in Nathan's words 'cash his check'. The next day neither Nathan or Haley set a foot outside their home.  
>"I remember..." she laughed nervous. The dress and the following events had been such, that even Brooke couldn't speak of it without being nervous or shied away.<br>Haley threw a flirtatious look Nathan's way ; "That was your best work ever and I think Nathan agrees with me. Don't you Nate?"  
>Nathan turned red; At the time he was the first to admit that it was Brooke's best work and that Haley looked beyond hot. Now it embarrassed him. Even more it annoyed him that Haley was doing this. It wasn't the Haley he knew. He knew Haley had a sultry side, but not this. This constant flirtatious side. Her innocence was what charmed her.<p>

"I loved what was underneath it more at the time. Now I'm not so sure." He bit back after swallowing the lump in his throat. Peyton looked in triumph at Nathan just long enough for her not to see the swift flash of pain crossing her features. But soon enough Haley had replaced it with an amused smile, so Peyton never saw her recoil.

"What's underneath it never changed, you're welcome you check that out any day.." She grinned and then got up. She bent over the table and cupped his cheek, looking into his eyes. Then she swiftly kissed his lips. She moved out of the booth and said: "I gotta go, have some things to do" with only a wink she turned around and walked away, with only hearing Peyton huff.

Nathan clenched his teeth out of utter frustration. Haley was not only messing with his relationship with Peyton, she was doing it with their old memories. Memories that, though they were no longer together, were still very dear to him. Prom night had been one of the best nights of his life so far even now that Haley had used it in such a malicious way, he couldn't think of the memory with anything other than love and arousal.

"I can't belief she did that!" Peyton huffed next to him. "she's freaking unbelievable!" He didn't bother calming Peyton down. Haley was a touchy subject to Peyton. Over the last week they'd fought plenty on the subject of Haley and he was quickly growing tired of discussing it.

"Easy Peyton.." Lucas hushed, but that only upset her more. "easy? Are you kidding me? Am I supposed to sit back and relax while she flirts with my boyfriend. Not to mention bringing up their past as a way to win ground on me!" Lucas sat back and sighed, not bothering to try again. Peyton was out of it and as often as he had spoken with Haley on the topic he knew Haley wasn't coming around.  
>She had her mnd set to getting Nathan back and Nathan was the only one who could stop her by telling they were over. But somehow, despite the attempts, Nathan seemed incapable of bringing the message across in such a way Haley had not hope to hold onto. And so Haley was still around and still trying her best at winning Nathan back.<p>

It wasn't until the next day that Nathan walked into Haley again. Unfortunately for Haley as much as for Peyton, Peyton was there. Haley noticed Nathan sitting at one of the picknicktables at school grounds as she walked from her last class before lunch, across school grounds to where she had agreed to meet Brooke and Lucas for lunch. As soon as she had seen him as made her way over plopping down on the seat next to Nathan.

"Hey Nate." She whispered in his ear, before he had noticed her presence.  
>The whisper and her hot breath on the side of his face and gave him chills. And just like with all of Haley's advances, he couldn't help but be reminded of all the times she'd done that to him in the past and how much he like it.<br>Snapping out of it, Nathan pushed Haley away from him and snarled: "What do you what Haley, I'm not in the mood for your crap right now." Haley grinned sheepishly and bit her bottom lip. She, slowly leaning in again, whispered semi loud "I kinda need your help tonight..." Nathan rolled his eyes.  
>Peyton huffed having heard exactly what she said.<p>

"Haley like I said I'm not up for any of your crap so just cut it out!" Haley leaned back with wide eyes and chuckled. "Oh, god get your mind out of the gutter! Brooke and I bought this bookcase for our dorm and we need some help putting it together, Lucas is coming too!"

"oh" Nathan muttered somewhat embarrassed. "I guess I can help. What time do you need me?"  
>Haley's face lit up like a candle and kissed his cheek "Thanks... Um how about 9ish? Brooke has cheerleading tryout first so... " Nathan nodded. "Okay.."<br>"great! Thanks again!"

Haley skipped away as she spotted Brooke about a 50 feet away.  
>"OKAY?" Peyton thundered as soon as Haley had disappeared. "She flirts with you 247 and she asks you to help her put together a bookcase with 4 people! And you just fall for that!"  
>Nathan looked a bit lost, not sure whether Peyton was right and Haley had indeed just tricked him, or that Peyton too was getting utterly suspicious...<p>

Brooke frowned strangely at Haley as she skipped up to her and link her arm. "What were you discussing with Nathan just now and why did you feel the need to thank him with a kiss?" Brooke was completely on camp Haley, but was a little quizzed by Haley tactics...

"oh.. Nothing. I just asked Nathan some help with that Bookcase tonight..." she shrugged.  
>"Oh.. well I guess I'm just surprised he said yes.." Brooke muttered.<p>

It was ten passed nine as Haley adjusted her white (low cut) tanktop, pulled her hair down and added a little touch of lipgloss to her lips. Admiring herself in the mirror for a bit, Haley was pleased to see that her hard work to look like she was effortlessly beautiful paid off.  
>behind her on the floor was the bookcase in pieces the way it was delivered.<br>A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts and she jumped up and took a deep breath preparing herself for what was to come.

"Finally where were you guy- s" Haley looked 'surprised' as only Nathan was standing there looking casually sexy in his jeans and dark blue t-shirt. "Hey? Where s the rest?" she asked as she let them in. "aren't they here yet?" Haley regretfully shook her head. "No... Brooke is running late... and Lucas isn't here yet either.."  
>Of course Brooke and Lucas weren't there, because as the roommate of.. Haley was well aware of the fact that the two of them had Date tonight and would be spending the night at Lucas' dorm room, since his roommate was away for family reasons. This all however unknown to Nathan.<p>

"Oh... well. We could get started already and see when they finally show up.." Nathan offered. "Oh that's not necessary.. we could just do it some other time.." She said plopping down on her bed.  
>Nathan shook his head. "Don't be silly I'm here now, you need that bookcase, put me to work."<br>Haley's face lit up. (naturally according to Haley's cooked out plan)

"Uhm okay.." she said and began to open the box and read the instructions as Nathan followed the instructions step by step.

about two hours later the bookcase was almost done and Haley plopped exhaustedly down on her bed. She 'd had an enormous amount of fun with Nathan trying to put together the bookcase. It reminded her much of old days as they put together stuff for their own apartment. (which in the end was the whole point of the plan) "Hey! James! We're not done yet." Nathan ordered chuckling.

"But I'm tired!" She whined playfully. "How can you be tired! You sat on your ass reading instructions while I put the thing together!" Haley got up 'That not true! I helped you hold those thingies together as you put screws through them Scott! Plus I belief we deserved a break for all the good work."  
>Nathan chuckled at her typical Haley antics. He'd missed that Haley. The Haley he could laugh with and could argue playfully with all night long. "I guess you're right." This time they plopped down on her bed together and smiled. Haley bent over her bed to get something out of her nightstand and Nathan subtly checked out her ass. He remembered how well that ass of hers fit into his two hands...<br>he quickly shook the thought away as Haley sat up and handed him a soda. "thanks.." he said and opened the can to take a sip.

As they leaned against the wall her bed was shoved up to, they drank their drinks in silence for awhile. That was until Haley slowly rested her head against Nathan shoulder and closed her eyes. Letting her guard down for a little to reminisce her life with Nathan. A life that always came down to come home to Nathan. Him. With his arms around her cuddled up on their couch. She felt a strong sense of nostalgia as she sat there with Nathan and slowly felt a tear run down her cheek. "I miss this.."She whispered, scared for the consequences of being open with Nathan about the current state of their relationship. Simply because last time... he'd ignored her.

Nathan looked down at Haley as he heard her whisper the words he'd been dying to hear for so long. The same words he stopped wanting to hear a long time ago. Nonetheless the sight of his fragile ex girlfriend crying on his shoulder telling him she missed him, them, didn't leave him unmoved.

Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted whatever Nathan had wanted to say and both looked at the door. "Maybe that's Lucas or Brooke finally." He said. Haley nodded, but had this uncanny feeling it was his less pleasant girlfriend Peyton. She got up and wiped her tears, before she opened the door to indeed Peyton.

"Is Nathan still here?" Haley nodded and opened the door a little further. "Hey, baby." Nathan greeted her and walked over to give her a swift kiss. "where are Brooke and Lucas?" She asked.  
>Nathan chuckled: "The never showed probably just bailed and thought to let us fix the job."<br>Peyton nodded somewhat suspiciously. "So it was just you and Haley? You finished?"  
>"yeah, and we're almost done, right Hales?"<br>Haley's head, that had been directed to the floor, shot up at the mention of her name and nodded. "Yeah.. I think we're good." She said timidly. "Let me just finish up here and we'll go okay, babe?"Nathan said and kissed Peyton again. Peyton nodded.

"Oh that not necessary, you've helped enough I can do the rest... promise!" Haley said wanting Nathan and Peyton as the cute couple they were, to leave her sight.  
>"Oh okay, If you're sure?" Nathan asked and grabbed his coat.<br>"Yes, I'm positive. Thanks for your help bye!" and she quickly ushered them out and closed and locked the door.  
>She fell down on her bed with nothing but tears streaming down her face and sobs leaving her throat. Next morning she'd be getting hell from everyone, once they found out her little 'white' lie to get some innocent alone time with Nathan.<br>And now more than ever Haley realized she was alone without Nathan.  
>Brooke and Lucas' arms to crawl away in when she felt bad, and now Peyton held the arms that used to hold her when she felt bad.<br>Never in her live felt Haley so alone.

About a week later Brooke and Haley were walking to class together. Haley had expected to be yelled at by at least one of her friends about the lie, but only Lucas had said something about it to her and he had been very civil about it. Though he didn't fail to make her feel even more of a hopeless case as she already felt.  
>Brooke had however not even spoken a single word to her after she found out. She'd walked to to class, they sat together with lunch but Haley had gotten nothing but silence added to her already fragile emotional state at this point.<p>

Suddenly Brooke spoke up. "I don't understand you Haley." She stated and halted in the middle of the hallway. Haley frowned and chuckled nervously "Where did that come from?"

Brooke looked Haley straight in the eye with an equally straight face. The smile fell from Haley's face as she saw Brooke meant business. "That girl that flirts shamelessly with her ex-boyfriend every time she sees him, where his girlfriend is standing next to. Who is that girl?" Haley swallowed.

"Who is that girl!" Brooke raised her voice. "Because it sure as hell isn't _my_ bestfriend."  
>Haley frowned and sighed; "Brooke.. I know..I just.." She didn't really know what to tell her.<br>"Because you know what? My best friend, used to hate the girls that would force themselves on guys and flirted shamelessly with them with their girlfriends standing next to them! My best friend is kind and caring and hate to hurt other people. My best friend heal and helps, rather and wounds people and kick them when they're down. My best friend wouldn't have used her best friend to trap her ex in spending time with her! My best friend isn't this slut."

With that Brooke turned around and stalked off, leaving a complete flabbergasted Haley behind. Haley stared after her with wide eyes and an half open mouth, suddenly feeling even more alone and even a more terrible person. She felt the tears brim in the corners of her eyes. When she looked up she saw several people look at her and Haley instantly felt the need to flee their presence.

At the corner of that hallway Nathan Scott witnessed this and felt the sight of the small broken girl standing there looking after her best friend tucking at his heart.

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><p>That's it! my new chap let me know what you think!<p> 


	5. Down and now?

**So I know it's been an awful long time! I believe I updated shortly before I left for Rome and that's been almost 2 months. I'm deeply ashamed. So here is a new chapter. for you  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 5. Down.. and now?<strong>

Down in the dumps... that's where Haley was right now. She hadn't spoken with Brooke at all since she had yelled at her. She 'd barely even seen her and as a consequence avoided all of her friends..or Both of them.

She really didn't have that many friends at Duke. She never really made any because she didn't think she's need them. After all.. She had Brooke and Lucas.

Wrong.

She couldn't look Lucas straight in the face anymore and every time she was around Brooke the look on Brooke's face made her feel as the most horrible person. Brooke's words had hurt her more than she could imagine, mostly because she had been right. All of it had been true. That flirty person wasn't her and even worse she now was the kinda person she hated. Now this had been pointed out to her, she couldn't deny it to herself anymore; She was a horrible person and she hated herself for it.

Haley was sitting at a picknick table, her head bowed, her hands in her hair. Miserable. She jumped up as she felt a hand of her shoulder. "Oh, are you Haley?" A girl with dark brown hair said.

"Uhm.. yeah.. that's me. Why do you want to know that?" She tried to be polite but her miserable state made her incapable of feeling sympathy for anyone really. "Oh I'm in your composersclass. I know you don't know me. I failed the class last year so I'm doing it again, but since I don't really wanna fail it again I was hoping you could help me.." Haley looked up at the girl. She looked pleading, maybe desperate, that awakened some sympathy. Plus it gave her something other to think about besides her fucked up life. "I save your grade today..." the girl added.

"I'd be happy to help you. Haley James is the name." The girls face lit up and she held her hand up; "I'm Mia. I could really use you help. Do you wanna go to the Music room now? Or do you have somewhere to be?"

"I'd love to.. yes. I could really use the distraction..sorry." Haley got up and shook Mia's hand. Gathering her stuff she followed Mia.

"You're Nathan's ex- girlfriend, right?" Mia carefully tried her. Haley looked up. She hadn't been aware that many people knew about her and Nathan. "uhm.. how?" She stuttered. It made her feel uncomfortable that people knew this about her and only knew that.

"Peyton. She pointed you out to me once." Haley stopped walking. Suddenly she got this unpleasant cold chill and felt sick..

"uhm.. I'm sorry? You know me through Peyton?" Mia turned around and looked up innocently. "Uhm yeah. She never has a lot of goods to say about you, but I've never seen you do anything to adopt that opinion. Plus you're a good student and you seem like a good person as well.."

Haley scoffed.. "I'm not.. and Peyton is right." It was the hardest thing Haley had ever had to admit, but she _was_ right.

"the fact you can admit that means you're not, I can see that. Now are you gonna help me or not?"  
>Haley mustered up a smile. "Of course.."<p>

When Haley and Mia settle in the music room playing her music Haley sat and listen for awhile. Mia music was far from bad.. I Haley's opinion in only needed a little bit more emotion and maybe...

"hold that thought.." Haley said. "but what if you played that in D?"

Mia frowned but obeyed and her face lit up. "hey, that works!" Haley smiled. "Music wasn't an exact science; something Haley was good with because it consisted out of logic. But because of that same reason she loved Music; some things weren't meant to be rationalised.

"Haley? Would you like to play for me what got you that A today?" she nodded and sat down behind the piano..

"_I heard__  
><em>_That you're settled down__  
><em>_That you__  
><em>_Found a girl__  
><em>_And you're__  
><em>_Married now_

_I heard__  
><em>_That your dreams came true.__  
><em>_Guess she gave you things__  
><em>_I didn't give to you_

_Old friend__  
><em>_Why are you so shy?__  
><em>_Ain't like you to hold back__  
><em>_Or hide from the light__  
><em>  
><em>I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited<em>_  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.__  
><em>_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded__  
><em>_That for me it isn't over_

_Never mind__  
><em>_I'll find someone like you__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you too__  
><em>_"Don't forget me," I begged__  
><em>_"I'll remember," you said__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love__  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead."__  
><em>_Sometimes it lasts in love__  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead,__  
><em>_Yeah.__  
><em>  
><em>You know how the time flies<em>_  
><em>_Only yesterday__  
><em>_It was the time of our lives__  
><em>_We were born and raised__  
><em>_In a summer haze__  
><em>_Bound by the surprise__  
><em>_Of our glory days_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited__  
><em>_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.__  
><em>_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded__  
><em>_That for me it isn't over._

_Never mind__  
><em>_I'll find someone like you__  
><em>_I wish nothing but the best for you too__  
><em>_"Don't forget me," I begged__  
><em>_"I'll remember," you said__  
><em>_"Sometimes it lasts in love__  
><em>_But sometimes it hurts instead."_

_Nothing compares__  
><em>_No worries or cares__  
><em>_Regrets and mistakes__  
><em>_They are memories made.__  
><em>_Who would have known__  
><em>_How bittersweet this would taste?"_

The closed off with an instrumental end, because she couldn't sing anymore. It had taken her all to get it recorded for class, but she couldn't do it without crying.

Mia just watched Haley trying to wipe away to tears so subtle, she was moved by the song and by the emotion it came with.

"Oh god.. " she breathed. "no wonder you got a A! that was beautiful." Haley smiled, pleased that she review with the word beautiful, rather than amazing..

"I.. thank you." Mia sat down next to her on the bench. "Please don't think I'm prying, on Peyton behalf.. or prying at all, but.. what happened between you and Nathan? You obviously still love him a lot."  
>Haley swallowed. "I do. Things went down in a way they shouldn't have and while I was recovering .. he moved on with Peyton. We were living together before college, we were gonna get married after college. The Idea of that he's not gonna be the one out there for me.. it makes me feel hopelessly lost." She sighed. "I know how desperate it sounds to say he gave direction to my life, but I just loved him. – Love him. He's always been there. Now he's not and he's moved on and I'm still here afraid to let go because I'll have to start over. With everything. I'll have to put myself out there, I guess I'm just holding onto what's familiar and save. 'Cause I love him."<p>

"wow.." Mia gave her a weak smile, something Haley could appreciate. "I don't think a love like that burns out that fast or the need to hold onto it. Not him either. Peyton is gonna hate me for saying this but.. I think it's a love worth fighting for." She winked and then grabbed her stuff.

"Thanks for the tips.. I'm gonna work on them I hope I can count on your help some more in the future.." Haley nodded and smiled. "of course.. and thank you for listening.."

As Mia walked away Haley sighed and smiled to herself. She just made a friend. Peyton might be moving in on her friends, but nothing kept her from doing the same to Peyton's.."  
>feeling a little better than before she turned back to her piano and lowered her fingers to the keys..<p>

A day or two later Haley was doing homework at that same picknicktable. It was starting to get a little cold to be doing homework outside. But doing it outside meant not having to do it in her dorm room and Brooke was still ignoring her. Something, that regardless of what happened with Mia, still bugged her. Mia had said she wasn't a bad person and that she should be fighting for Nathan.

But so far it had gotten her nowhere. She couldn't concentrate on any of her homework. Running a hand through her hair she squeezing her eyes shut trying to keep the tears from falling.

"You okay, Hales.." A familiar voice asked her hesitant. She turned around shyly. "I'm fine." She swallowed hard, not having seen Nathan since that night in her dorm where they were so brutally interrupted by Peyton. She knew he knew the truth about that night as well, but he didn't seem mad.

"I don't believe you.." He chuckled. "You're not mad?" she asked timidly. He chuckled again and sat down. "No, I'm not mad Hales. I was there, the bookcase was real and I really enjoyed myself that night, it was good hanging out like old times – don't tell Peyton that." He smiled.

"I get it Hales.." He whispered.

"You do?" she asked curious. She hadn't expected him to be so understanding because.. well he'd been so mean to her.

"I guess, it wasn't fair to you to be so cruel about you coming here. You did give up Stanford for me and then we weren't together anymore. I'm just sorry.. It was so much easier to hate the person you were being over the past month, then to remember the kind and funny and feisty girl I know you to be.."

Haley felt her heart pound in her chest at the things he said, feeling hope for them for the first time since Brooke yelled at her. She wiped her tears. "I'm sorry.. about the way I behaved. It was so childish of me to do what I did. I guess I just didn't want you to forget us." She bowed her head in shame.

Completely unexpected she felt his big hands cup her face, forcing her to look up at him. "Hales.. I wish could forget about us, but I don't think I ever will. Us, still means a lot to me.. I wouldn't just erase that."

Nathan has thought a long time about what he would say to Haley. He'd watched her since the day Brooke yelled at her in the hallway, realizing slowly that the whole thing was breaking her up and through the cracks her recognized the girl he'd always loved. That tucked at his heart..

He pulled Haley into a hug; crushing her against his chest. Wanting to protect her from the heartfelt. He might not be interested in getting back together, but he wanted her to be able to move on and be happy herself.

Haley was momentarily shocked by this sudden act of closeness, but relished in it none the less. Feeling the taut muscles of his chest underneath his shirt, smelling his cologne and the feeling of his arms enveloping her, made her feel so much better. She slowly relaxed and closed her eyes as her tears kept falling. She couldn't have stopped them if she wanted to.

For a moment being in Nathan's arms, being held, crying on his shoulder, made her feel like the entire last two weeks hadn't happened. Like they were back at her dorm, back to that moment Peyton so brutally interrupted. And if she allowed herself back to that moment in the shower the day Taylor had been back in town. A moment when everything was fine, he made it fine.

When she felt him pull away, she desperately tried to cling to him, not wanting to leave the best place she'd been in months.., maybe even a year.

Eventually she let go, looking down embarrassed. "Hales, try to let it go. I wanna be friends."

She looked up at him. Staring with her deep brown eyes into his and said; "I don't. I'd rather die, than be your friend, Nathan. I love you and I couldn't stand being in your life without kissing you and waking up next to, I'll always want more.."

She took a deep breath, leaned in and kissed him. Softly. Gently. With Love. With Passion. She pulled away and leaned her forehead against his. "We. Will. Never. Be friends." She breathed.

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><p><strong>Oh my.. Let me know what you think!<strong>


	6. Wrecked My Mind, Pulled My Hair Out

**So here's a new Chapter of the make up tale. It's all about Haley strugling with the reality of a life without Nathan. **

**Let me know what you think!  
><strong>

**- Philine **

**PS. WARNING: MATURE SEXUAL CONTENT **

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><p><strong>Chapter 6. Wrecked my mind, pulled my hair out<strong>

Nathan sat down in the cafe around the corner from the Duke dorms, where he met up with Lucas and Peyton on a regular basis. Today he was alone. Ever since his somewhat intense conversation with Haley, he'd been avoiding Peyton. Because the truth was, he felt guilty. He'd kissed Haley. Well technically Haley kissed him, but he didn't stop her. He wished he had though. Remembering what it was like to kiss Haley wasn't helping anyone. He really did want her to feel better, when he hugged her, but he should have known Haley wasn't gonna settle for being friends.

And at some level she was right. With everything they'd been through, she was practically entitled to something more. But life is never fair, so Haley doesn't get what she's entitled to.

Nathan just wanted something else. No more drama. Just Peyton.

However, he still felt guilty and that probably wasn't going away until he told Peyton. Which probably would mean Peyton would be pissed off. He highly disliked pissed off Peyton. He knew she wouldn't ditch his ass, because then she'd be giving Haley exactly what she wanted, but he would probably not hear the end of it for awhile.

While Nathan sat there in the booth of the coffee shop, bend over his homework with a cup of steaming coffee; the eyes of the waitress watched him closely. Reminiscing the same happening from a completely different angle.

Haley felt incredibly sad and frustrated. She knew Nathan didn't tell Peyton about their kiss, but after her behaviour from the last weeks, she wasn't gonna tell Peyton. No matter how badly she wanted her to know. And Nathan wasn't likely to tell Peyton because it would get him into a whole lot of trouble. Or maybe he just didn't think it was relevant to mention, because it didn't mean anything to him.

That thought only tortured her more. The idea that their kiss didn't mean anything to him. "a kiss with your ex always means something Haley." The voice in her head yelled. "he didn't push you away, he kissed you back!" Did he?

Haley closed her eyes to shut out the tears. She wondered if Nathan was just fighting the inevitable; them reuniting, or that her honestly didn't wanna be with her anymore. If he honestly wanted to spend the rest of his life with Peyton. Marry Peyton, have the children he didn't want with her, with Peyton, and never look back at his time with her with regret and a heavy heart.

She wondered. 'cause when she pushed him away, she wanted him to fight for her, she just needed space. But not once she didn't think that he was her destiny and that they were gonna end up together. And she still held onto that believe. Peyton was just a rebound. So she wondered. Does he see it that way.

"Can I get another cup of coffee." His voice sound through the cafe. She picked up the pot of coffee, blinking the tears from her sight. She cleared her throat and walked up to him, pouring him a new cup. "Here you go." Only then he looked up and their eyes met. Only now he realized Haley worked here. Realizing that gave him this defeated look. Tired of having that fight her presence. Physically and mentally. She seemed always there and lately she was always on his mind.

"Hey," he said. It didn't sound surprised sounded familiar, and hoarse. She smiled weakly and walked away. He must be think of Peyton as a rebound. Haley thought. Otherwise he wouldn't be looking at me like that. Like he used to. With longing.

The bell of the cafe door rang tearing Haley from her thoughts. She turned to see who entered, but quickly looked away once she'd seen who it was. Peyton. She swallowed hard and forced herself not to look at that table. She would only be torturing herself by looking at them. "Can I get a coffee." She heard Peyton call. Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath, swallowing her pride she walked over to the table with a cup and poured Peyton some coffee. Peyton barely noticed as she had attached her lips to Nathan and didn't even bother to come up for air as Haley poured the coffee.

She couldn't expect Peyton to be kind and spare her feelings after what she did. She turned around and returned behind the counter putting away the coffee. She softly sang the words in her head to smooth herself. She honestly didn't know what to do with all her feelings.

A part of her wanted to let him go for she had harmed him so much already. While the other part of her told her he was her heart that vital piece of her she couldn't live without; her breath of life. It was the part of her that let her believe that in the end they were meant to be and that there was no other way to live.

As she heard the two of them make out in the background, she excused herself to the bathroom. It was simply too much to take.

Haley walked into her dorm room at the end of the day, tired mentally and physically. She needed her friend back. Without Brooke she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up the pretending. Feeling alone was a terrible feeling, actually being alone, was ten times worse.

As she walked in she saw Brooke sitting on her bed, tired of the fighting she walked over to Brooke and plopped down beside her and leaned her head of Brooke's shoulder. "I'm sorry." She whispered, before closing her eyes as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

For a long time it was silent in the room. Neither of the girls moved.

"Why did you do it?" Brooke said after awhile

'I miss him.' Haley said softly, still crying.

Brooke sighed and put her arms around Haley. I know that Honey, but maybe it's time to let go. Face the fact that he doesn't want to be with you." Haley said nothing. It just was the one thing she refused to accept. "I see it in his eyes he still loves me. He's just being stubborn. He just needs me to fight for him as I wanted him to fight for me." Haley whispered a little later.

"But he didn't fight for you Haley. Doesn't that tell you something?" Brooke countered.

"But he did fight for me Brooke. All the way from Duke, he fought for me. I just was too late to forgive him. "

Brooke didn't know what to tell Haley after all, she did believe that Nathan loved Haley and would end up with Haley.

"I kissed him." Haley whispered. Brooke's head flew up. "What!"

For the first time since she sat down, Haley lifted her head from Brooke's shoulder to look at her. "We talked about what happened. Nathan and I. He said.. He said he wanted us to be friends. After he hugged me." Haley sobbed. "I told him I'd rather die than just be his friend and kissed him to prove it."

Haley wiped her tears "He kissed me back. He loves me. He's just pushing me away because he's hurt. But we him and me both know that that kiss, was so much more than any kiss he'll ever share with Peyton."

With that she got up and left the room to go take a shower.

When Nathan got home that evening after spending the morning with Peyton at the cafe and the afternoon training with Lucas, he was spent. It really was a long day. He had said goodbye to his brother in the hallway and his room was empty. Clay was probably hang at some chicks room, or banging one in a back alley. He pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it on his pile of dirty clothes.

Grabbing a towel he headed to the bathrooms. He pushed open the door to find the bathroom on his floor extraordinarily crowded. There was a guy waiting for every stall. He sighed and went a floor down. He really didn't feel like waiting half an hour for his shower. He considered it seriously one of the most annoying things about dorms.

One floor down he pushed the bathroom door open to enter. This one was extraordinarily quiet in comparison to the one on his own floor. He walked up to one of the stalls and pushed the door open and walked in pushing the door closed. He hung his clothes and towel over the door and turned on the hot water.

He moaned somewhat as he felt the hot water run over his body. His neck and shoulders hurt like hell. He closed his eyes and let the water wash the events of the day off. Once again, Haley came to mind, like she had so many times since she had come to Duke. Peyton would ditch his ass, if she knew how much he thought of Haley.

He was about to turn off the water as suddenly he felt a pair of hands wrapped around his waist. The pair of hand ran up his chest and he felt a naked body press against him from behind. His first response was a smile as he recognized the hands and body against his own.

He closed his eyes relishing in the feeling of the body pressed again his. The loved the feeling, it was like it was the only thing he was missing to relax him. So now he completely relaxed in her arms.

After a few minutes he felt the hands run down his chest over his stomach, down, until it grabbed a hold of his cock. He let out a low gowl, as he felt her hand around his length. She slowly moved her hand up and down as her other hand cupped his balls. He eyes rolled back in his head. God that felt good. She always knew how to please him. She rubbed him a little faster as he leaned back against her.

She began leaving soft wet kisses on his back, while her hands never stopped moving. He moaned, screwing his eyes shut. She obviously had picked up the pace determined to make him come.

"Oh God, that feel so good, baby." He moaned. As he did so, he felt her squeeze him a little harder and kiss his back a little faster, harder, and wetter.

Nathan whimpered at the loss of her hand on his balls, but felt himself get closer and closer as she heard her moan as well. He briefly opened his eyes to look down at where her hand was still working his cock. As he saw her squeeze him again, he groaned and burst all over her hand and the shower.

Her hand still, but he made no move. Suddenly her other hand reappeared and two fingers moved towards his mouth. Extremely turned on her watched her drenched fingers moved towards his mouth and he willingly opened his mouth. His lips and tongue willingly welcomed her fingers and he immediately recognized her juices. Licking them clean, he moaned.

She slowly pulled them out of his mouth and then he felt hot breath on his ear. "there's more where that come from." She whispered and she sunk her teeth softly into his earlobe.

Losing any control he might have had, he turned around and pushed her up against the shower wall. Landing his lips on hers, and plunging three fingers into her, finding , as expected, dripping wet. He moaned at the feeling of her clenching muscles around his fingers. She moaned as the feeling of his fingers hitting all the right spots as he started moving them at a frantic pace. His other hand was on her ass, squeezing it as she squeezed him.

Their lips moved together heatedly, their tongue battling for dominance. She sunk her teeth in his bottom lip, and he curled his fingers as he slammed them back in. Her hand ran over his chest and she pinched his nipple, making him moan. So he ran his moved his thumb, repeatedly over the little bundle of nerves between her legs, extracting loud moans from her and causing her to throw her head back, against the shower wall.

Soon Nathan felt her inner muscles tighten as her breathing got louder, with her moans. Clinging to him, she came, without shame she cried out his name over and over again. He kissed her neck as she came down from her high - trying to catch a breath.

He was so turned on watching her come, he was rock hard again and poking into her belly. As his eyes held hers. They watched each other for awhile. Nathan withdrew his fingers from her depths, bringing them to his mouth. He licked them clean, all the while she watched him, and he her.

Once he dropped his hand from his lips, she pushed him forward up against the other shower wall. Reaching up to slam her lips together with his, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Nathan groaned. She wasn't done yet and neither was he. He opened his mouth to her, and wrapped his arms around her waist pushing her back up against the other wall, both fighting for control. His hands moved to her ass pushing her up. Before she could wrap her legs around his waist he slammed his cock into her, making her cry out. She dug her heels into his ass urging him on.

He plugged into her, again and again and again, making her scream as his lips sucked on her neck, until he reached her pulse point. She leaned her head back, her breathing out of control. She cried out his name and moaned, while Nathan slammed into her and sucked on her pulse point.

He could feel her getting close, but he didn't want it to be over yet. He slowed down his pace, making her whimper and her heels dig harder into his ass, urging him to pick up the pace. He refused and instead her moved his hands over her ass, up to her waist to the sides of her chest running his thumbs over her nipples. 'Oh God Nathan." She moaned. God he loved to hear her say that.

Then she did what he knew she'd do out of utter frustration; she reached down the grab his balls and yanked them urging him on. He moaned, feeling her fingers over the delicate skin of his ball sack.

He hoisted her up and slammed her cock back into her, hitting her G-spot. She cried out. "Again!" She moaned and he obeyed. He pick up a frantic pace, making her cry out in pleasure every time he thrust into her. She rolled his balls in her hand and that felt so good to him. The feel of her boobs bouncing against his chest, her voice crying out his name over and over again, her fingers rolling his balls and her inner muscles clenching around his length as she rode out her orgasm, had him coming chanting her name as hard as she was chanting his.

It was by far the best shower fuck he ever had. As they held still in their position both of them tried to catch their breaths. Eventually, Nathan pulled out of her, putting her back on her feet. He quickly washed himself clean as she watched. 'God there is so much more I wanna do to you.' She whispered. Nathan looked up at her, their eyes met and Nathan slowed bend down to kiss her.

"Sorry, Hales. But this was a mistake." With that Nathan pulled his towel off the door along with his clothes, he wrapped t around his hips and left the shower.

Haley stood there, with tears in her eyes. This was suppose to make her feel better. Show him he couldn't resist her, that his feelings for Peyton weren't as strong as his need for her. But instead it made her feel cheap. So she closed her eyes and let the hot water take the tears. Once again the voice in her head told her that this was a losing battle. Even after this he still wanted Peyton. Even after this being with Peyton seemed more attractive to him.

She couldn't deal with that. Slowly she sunk to the floor of the shower. Letting that water run over her head. It seemed to become clearer and clearer to Haley that he just wanted Peyton. A reality Haley refused to deal with. Nathan wouldn't leave her. Once upon a time, he promised her. Her promised he'd always love her. Always & Forever. She pulled her legs up against her chest wrapping her arm around them. Putting her head down she cried. This time without pleasure of ecstasy. This time in pain and hurt.

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><p><strong>That was it. next Chapter, Will be all about Haley dealing with this and Brooke picking up her best friends task helping Haley through it rather than judging her. And Nathan dealing with the guilt of not only kissing Haley but having sex with her. <strong>

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**

**- Love Philine**


	7. This is All Your Fault!

**hello everyone, I was kind inspired yesteday, so I wrote two chapters.. finishing the last one last night.**

**So here your new chapter. It's 7 already I hope you like.. and If you have any ideas about where the take the story from here I'm open to ideas. R&R!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7. This is all your fault!<strong>

"Luke!" Brooke ran up to Lucas as she saw him in the cafeteria. Out of breath she came to a halt in front of him. "Have.. you.. Seen... Haley?" She breathed. "I.. Haven't. ...seen her... since... Last night..." she sat down at the table her was sitting at. "She went to take a shower last night. I haven't seen her since. She was so sad. She was crying. She is just struggling with the new reality. I'm worried. She seemed so down." Lucas sighed. "he was actually still mad at her. But he too could understand that dealing with a live without Nathan was tough for her.

"Her bed wasn't slept in. Exactly the way it was yesterday." Lucas looked up. "I haven't seen her. You think something is wrong?" he asked, getting kinda worried about her now.

"Yes!"

"And it is all your fault!" She yelled at Nathan as he walked up to their table with Peyton. "What is my fault?" he asked, wondering why the hell Brooke was jumping out of her skin again.

'Haley is missing.' He looked up honestly surprised, his mind went back to the shower last night. Remembering the hurt look in her soulful brown eyes as he told her they made a mistake.

"When did you last see her?" Nathan shrugged; 'Yesterday morning. She works at the cafe around the corner." Brooke nodded, thinking that explained why she was so upset when she came home yesterday. "How about you?" She asked Peyton. Peyton rolled her eyes. "Same, I was with Nathan at the cafe yesterday."

"I haven't seen her in days." Lucas said honestly.

"Sounds like you should be looking at yourself, since you were that last one to see her." Nathan snapped. "that's irrelevant. I know what happened last time I saw her. She grabbed a towel and her shower stuff. And she never came back! I'm worried about her!" Brooke pleaded.

"I'll go check the cafe, ask the owner if he has seen her." Lucas said as he got up. "No, Let Nathan or Peyton do that. I need you to call your mom ask if she has heard of Haley. If you think she's there even if your mom says no, you need to tell me." Brooke said.

"I'll check music rooms, and I'll check with Mia. She appears to be spending a lot of time with Mia at the music rooms." Peyton said. "but that's it. I'm not mind Haley's business. It's her problem."

Brooke looked infuriated at Peyton. "Little selfish don't you think? Especially since it's your fault she is like this! If you'd kept your hand of other people's boyfriends, she wouldn't be missing now!"

"Brooke!" Nathan barked. "None of this is Peyton's fault. It's Haley's. Haley can't make up her mind until it's too late. She brought this on herself. I'll check the cafe and the library and a couple of her friends from class. But I'm steering clear of this."

"Nice friend you are. I mean that's what you told he,r right? That you wanted to be friends? You thought okay than nothing at all, when she told you she could never be your friend? Or you're just afraid she'll tell Peyton you kissed her, when we find her?" Brooke snapped at Nathan.

Peyton looked up at Nathan, hurt and angry. "You kissed her?" Nathan looked mad at Brooke. 'No, I didn't. Haley kissed me, trying to prove that we would always be more than friends." Nathan told Peyton. "It's nothing. I swear. She's desperately trying to move me. But I want you Peyton and the fact Haley has disappeared, proves to me that she's finally dealing with that."

Brooke laughed hard and sarcastically. "that funny. Because while you told Peyton that meant nothing. I just got the feeling you know exactly where she is!"

"Oh and by the way, Haley's words about the kiss were: "He kissed me back. He loves me. He's just pushing me away because he's hurt. But we him and me both know that that kiss, was so much more than any kiss he'll ever share with Peyton." Ha!"

Brooke stormed away.

"Brooke! Where are you going?" Lucas called after her.

"I'm gonna find my best friend. Trying find a way to mend the heart that jackass of a brother of yours broke!"

"Brooke you know, Haley had just as much a part in this as Nathan had."

Brooke walked back with a look of pure anger in her eyes. "If you're done defending your brother, get him to tell where Haley is. Because he knows exactly where she is!"

With that she stormed off.

She was so pissed off that everybody acted like all this was Haley's fault. If Nathan had held out for her just a little while longer than they would be happily together. Haley had told her about the note She wrote to Nathan telling him she wanted him back. As she watched Nathan Peyton and Lucas spilt up looking for her. Brooke took off towards Nathan's dorm room. She knocked on the door a couple of times. "Hey, Brooke is it right?" Clay opened the door. "No, my name is Penelope. Can I come in?"

Clay nodded. "What can I do for you?" he said grinning. Brooke pushed a hundred buck into his hand. 'I need you to leave." She said holding the door open for him. 'but?"

"I just .. I'm looking for something. And I need the privacy to look for it in Nathan's stuff. So shoo."

She pushed Clay out the door and locked it.

She looked around the room that was one big mess. Boys dorms.. gross. She shook her head and pulled open Nathan's nightstand. 'condoms condoms.. asprin..typical" she muttered. "Eew.. " she muttered pulling a pair handcuffs out of is. "Oh gross." She looked horrified as she pulled out a pair of assumedly Peyton's panties. She quickly shoved the drawer shut.

Walking to his drawer cabinet, she pulled open the top drawer. His sock drawer. She pushing through his socks and underwear; A little horrified. Until she pulled out the envelope. Bingo. She opened it and read the card. "I knew he still had it." She read the card. "as long as he has this he ain't ready to give up on her."

She put the card back and left the room.

Outside she dialled Lucas's number. "hey, Luke any news?"

"Nope, My mom said she hadn't seen her and I believe her. You?"

Brooke looked up and saw Nathan and Peyton walk up to the building both shaking their head at her as if to say; we found nothing. "No me neither. Oh Luke I'm worried!"

"Where are you?" he asked. "Outside the dorms." "I'm on my way."

Nathan and Peyton walked up the her as she hung up her phone, hand in hand. Anger boiled up inside of her. "Jackass!" She pushed Nathan against his chest. "You know where she is I just know it! You know her better than anyone Nathan! Where would Haley go if she felt down and sad and had a terrible day?"  
>Nathan shrugged. "I don't know Brooke. The Haley I knew, would take a hot shower and roll up in a blanket on the couch. But she isn't who she used to be!"<p>

"the shower.." Brooke mused. "She went to take a shower last night. But she didn't get back to the room."

Nathan's mind flashed to the shower and the look in her eyes. Hurt, but even more tired and defeated. It reminded him of the day Taylor came to stay with them. "The shower."

Brooke frowned at Nathan. "What do you mean? Are you seriously suggesting she's still in the shower?" Nathan groaned, not sure what to think. "I don't know Brooke. But when Haley felt really bad she'd slid to the shower floor and cry until the water got cold."

"Fuck" Brooke muttered. "the water doesn't get cold here." And she turned towards the building running inside. Naturally she hadn't missed Peyton's look as Nathan tried to think of where Haley could be. Or her look when he told her, what Haley did when she was sad. The realization of how well Nathan knew Haley, had hit Peyton hard.

She ran into the bathroom. "Haley?" she pushed against the door of the one shower that was running. There sat Haley. On the floor. Knees pulled up. Crying. Her skin was red and a little bobbled.

Haley looked up at Brooke. Not caring about her clothes she ran into the shower and held her. After a short while she said; 'Let's get you out of here."

"Why doesn't he love me anymore Brooke?" Brooke's heart broke. Watching her best friend in so much pain. "Oh, he loves you honey I promise."

She wrapped a towel around here and took her out of there and to their dorm. 'Oh sweetie." Brooke said helping Haley into some clothes. "What happened?"

Haley looked up at Brooke. 'You promise you won't be mad?" Haley whispered. Brooke hugged her tightly. "I promise."

Haley sat up on her bed and pulled her knees up to her chin wrapping her arms around them. "I got to the bathroom last night and I saw Nathan. I saw him get into a stall and I stood there waiting for him to get out. I'm not sure why." She looked at Brooke, waiting for her to judge.

When Brooke did nothing of the sort, she continued; "At some point I lost it and I joined him in the shower." Brooke's eyes widened.

"I came up behind him; wrapped my arms around him. I just yearned for him Brooke.. He knew immediately it was me and not once did he tried to push me away or out of the shower."

Haley paused.

"I pleasured him, he pleasured me. Then we made love." Haley slowly closed her eyes as she remembered what happened. "He pulled out of me and washed himself clean. Told me it was a mistake and left."

"Just like that?" Brooke asked.

"He told me, making love to me was a mistake Brooke! He kissed me and then told me it was a mistake!" Haley cried leaning her head on her knees. "Of all the things he has told me since we broke up, this was by far the worst, and that includes how he accused me trying to trap him by getting pregnant." Brooke was infuriated. She was planning on telling Haley about the card, but now she didn't want Haley to get her hopes up again. "Stay here and stay away from the shower. I'll be right back with chick flick ice cream and chocolate brownies." Brooke grabbed her purse and ran out the room. Down the hall she reached the staircase, but she didn't run down. She ran up.

She started banging on the door knowing Nathan was there. "Open up, you fucking bastard!" She was gonna give him a piece of her mind!

No one messed with her best friend like that and got away with it. Her blood was boiling. Nathan swung open the door. 'Calm down, what the hell– " Brooke reached out and bitch slapped him right across his face. "You fucking bastard! You jackass, You bloody freaking fucking moron! Jerk!" she cursed kicking him and hitting him until Peyton pulled her away. "Let me go bitch or you're next."

"Brooke! Stop beating Nathan. What the hell is wrong with you!" Brooke pulled back and straightened out the clothes. "What's wrong with me? What wrong with you! Why do you stay with a guy whose heart belongs so obviously to someone else!"

Peyton pushed Brooke away before slapping her in the face. "You might not wanna hear it, but 'your man' is in love with Haley! Only to realize that Haley has the ability to break his heart, because she holds it, and pull away. The only reason his with you is because you're easy!"

Peyton slapped Brooke again across the face. "You're being spiteful and I get it. You're standing up for your friend. She's hurting because she loves Nathan and he's with me."

"Yes, she is. Plus the fact that your boyfriend is stringing her along. Making her believe they'll be together. Isn't that right Nathan?" Brooke said pushing his in the chest again.

"Go on, tell her. How you lied about the last time you saw Haley. How she join you in your shower last night. How you felt Haley's hands wrap around your dick! And how you plunged two fingers into her, instead of telling her no and pushing her out of your shower! How you made her cry out your name, before thrusting your dick into her. How you made her believe making love to her in that shower was the best part of your day before you pushed her away and told her it was a mistake."

Brooke yelled at him. Several people stood in the hallway listening to what was going on as they heard Brooke yell.

"You slept with Haley?" Peyton yelled at Nathan. Nathan closed his eyes and sighed. "Yes, but Peyton I love you, I want you, Not Haley that's why I told her it was a mistake!" Brooke slapped him in the face again.

"Why did you fuck her in the first place!" Peyton yelled. "You know when we started you said you had a whole lot of drama behind you. And I accepted that and we had a good time that rest of the year. But ever since Haley came to Duke you haven't been you! You're all hot and cold when it's about Haley."

"Oh Peyton, you never knew him. The guy you knew before Haley got to Duke is a fraud, a guy trying to forget that the love of his life hurt him. You're what one calls a rebound!" Brooke shot at Peyton.

"And as for you, you insufferable bastard. Are. Just. Like. Your. Father! And Haley deserves a whole lot better than your sorry ass!" She slapped him again.

"Answer my question! Why did you sleep with her!" Peyton said, now suddenly very calm. Nathan closed his eyes with at least three dozen eyes on him he said: "because she's a part of me, she's my first love she saved me from becoming the person I never wanted to be and she still does. She think so highly of when I don't deserve it. Being with her makes me feel like that. Like a guy worthy of her time." He sighed and looked down, embarrassed. "And I don't ?" Peyton whispered.

"You are." A voice sounded from down the hallway. "You always were. But for some reason you always needed me to tell you that. Because apparently it was so hard to believe. Well, not to me.  
>I've always seen it. And I still do. But you're so god forsaken good at fighting it. The same way you fight me. Maybe that's just it. You make me out to the good inside of you. Fighting who I know you are equals fighting me to you. Fighting me and being who everybody expects Nathan Scott to be."<p>

By now Haley had made it through the crowd. "Stop fighting it and you don't need me to be that guy. That guy is in there with or without me. But do not confuse our love with that. Our love stands apart from that."

Then Haley looked at Peyton. 'He's all yours I've nothing more to offer him. I already gave him everything." Avoiding looking at Nathan anymore, she looked at Brooke. "Are you coming?" Brooke nodded.

She made her way back through the crowd.  
>"Haley." Nathan said sounding broken. She looked behind her fighting the urge to want him back. A voice in her head telling her, he was about to kick her as she was down. "If you never wanted me back why do you pretend so hard. Why did you have to ruin my life?"<p>

Haley took a step back in his direction. "I wanted you back. I just wanted you to fight for me as hard as you had pushed me away. And for the record. I didn't ruin your life. You did that all by yourself, with a little help of Taylor." With that she left, not returning to her dorm. She needed air.

Once outside she took a deep breath and said to Brooke: "I've never felt so liberated and so empty at once. He's gone Brooke I can feel it. What now?"

Brooke took her hand as they took a stroll through town. "Now Haley..." Brooke said. ".. We move on and we believe it all starts over with a clean slate."

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><p><strong>So whatcha think?<strong>  
><strong>let me know? If you guys have any ideas on where to take this story from here I'm open to ideas as I said before! because as Brooke said: were kinda starting over with a clean slate. So where do we go from here.. let me know!<strong>

**Love philine**


	8. We refrain from the truth for different

**Sorry, everyone!  
>I know it's been forever since I updated, but I wasn't so sure on which way to go..<br>I've chosen a pretty radical turn so I hope you like it.. please give me some feedback! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 8. We refrain from the truth for different reasons<strong>

"I'm not Lying Derek!" Haley cried out. "Yes you are!" Haley giggled and rolled over to avoid the tickling hands of her new boyfriend. After over thinking the life changing events of the last 4 months Haley had gone home with Brooke and Lucas to recover. Her first semester at Duke University had been so much harder than she'd anticipated. But after returning to Duke, Haley had thrown her life around drastically. Picking up her tutoring at her 2nd semester, she immediately fell hard for one of the other tutors. Derek was charming and warm and kind. And ever since there had been a permanent smile burned on her face.

Her first date with Derek the 22nd of January had been such a blissful day, Haley was then right there positive that there might after all be life after Nathan.

"_Aww, thank you." Haley giggled as Derek gave her a rose as he showed up to her dorm. Derek chuckled and grinned. "You're welcome." He held out his hand as an invitation to step outside with him. Haley held up her hand as an indication for him to wait before she returned in her coat and with her purse. "all set" again he held out his hand and now she took t whole heartedly. She was excited for this date. She had never been more excited. When they came outside they walked towards the end of the parking lot. When Derek lead her away from the parking lot and toward the park across the road. Haley quirked an eyebrow. "Where are we going." She asked while looking back over her shoulder. _

"_We're going to the park. I love the park in the winter. It's all so fresh and rough, but so fragile at the same time. I wanted to share that with you. Haley smiled. "I like that." She grinned. As they wandered off into the park. _

"_you know I'd add music to this but i don't have speakers, so.." He shrugged and held out one of his head phones. "So you came unprepared huh?" Haley chuckled. "I guess." He grinned as he held her hand, but pulled away. "Dance with me." Haley looked up at him surprised. "Here?" He laughed and nodded. "Where else?" _

_He pulled her back towards him and swooped down to kiss her. "I like you Haley James." Haley was slightly taken aback by the kiss, but couldn't help but smile. And her mom once said that if you're smiling effortlessly with someone then the chemistry is good. So she leaned back to kiss him back. "I like you too, Derek Shepherd."(XD)  
>"Good." <em>

_The rest of the afternoon they dance in the park and had fun, kissed. And warmed up with some hot coco. In a little cafe around the corner._

"Yes you are! You can't be allergic to all painkillers!" Haley chuckled at his surprised face. "Well, not all just those you can get at any drugstore." Haley's face was dead serious. "that must make that headache of yours tough." He chuckled and started tickling her again. "whaaha Derek! Stop it!" she giggled and wiggled until she fell off the bed.

"whha!" Derek leaned over the side of the bed and looked at her on the floor. "whatcha doing down there?" Haley raised a semi annoyed eyebrow, before she leaned up to kiss him, after whispering: 'My revenge shall be sweet" She pulled him further down and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Haley moaned softly as she swept her tongue through his mouth. And then at once pulled Derek by his collar off the bed.

Derek landed right on top of Haley pulled away from their kiss. He grinned proudly as he straddled her. She was lying on the floor her short blonde curls fanned out around her face, her eyes sparkling her and with one of the most genuine, kind and happy smiles ever on her face. "you were saying ?" "you're mean" she pouted. Derek leaned over her, resting his arms on both side of her head. "that's what's you get for lying!" He dipped his head back down and captured her lips in a soaring kiss. Haley could feel the heat of that kiss soar through her veins.

The next moment Brooke and Lucas walked in and held still on the threshold. "Oh kinky. On the floor?" Derek pulled away and rolled off of Haley. "Sorry..." She blushed, embarrassed mostly that Lucas had walked in on her like that.  
>Lucas hadn't been completely okay with the fact that She had decided to let Nathan go completely . He was tired of them pushing back and forth with each other and considered it unfair of Haley to put all the blame on Nathan. So he had suggested they'd kiss and make up, but that didn't do it for either of the girls. Brooke was stubborn as hell as it came to the Nathan subject as for Haley, she'd rather disregard the entire topic. Especially since she met Derek she had been over the moon. It hadn't been so hard to forget him after that.<p>

The result of all that was however that Lucas didn't really like Derek and became, regardless of what happened between Nathan and Haley, closer to Nathan. Which in return had negative effects on Brooke and Lucas' relationship. And since Peyton had really had it with Nathan after finding out he slept with Haley. Haley was right now the only one that was really happy. And Brooke, disregarding her own problems, was happy Haley was finally okay.

"I knew the two of you were hot for each other, spending the summer together and all, but hot make up session on the floor?" Brooke shook her head amused. Haley merely scrambled off of the floor. She knew she was the only one really happy right now, so she was embarrassed to be caught being so blissfully happy.

Derek grinned shamelessly, before getting to his feet as well. He pulled Haley close and wrapped an arm around her waist. "We should go anyway, Hales. Our plane leaves in 2 hours."

It was end of her 2nd semester at college. Haley's freshman year was over along with all the other drama. Brooke and Lucas were going back to Tree Hill along with Nathan. "Yeay, uhm. You put the bags in the car and I'll be right there. She pecked him on the lips before he left the room.

"You really gonna do this?" Lucas asked upset. He didn't like the guy nor trusted him and now she was leaving with him for the summer to go back packing through Europe with this guy.

"Yes, I'm looking forward to this. I've had a pretty crappy year and a pretty crappy summer last year so allow me the chance to be happy already!" Haley groaned. Lucas had been on her case about this since he found out they were planning this. "Haley! You know the guy for like what? 5 months? How do you know he's not some creep?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "Well, for starters because his a student at Duke and most students at Duke are screened and have practically flawless files, because he works at the tutors centre and you know the kind of people who work there and because I love him and I know him! There are people that get married how've known each other shorter!" She looked around the room and grabbed her purse.

Over the last 5 months there was a lot she'd shared with Derek, but surely not everything about her past. Naturally the drama last semester with Nathan hadn't escaped him either. That rumour had spread like a wild fire, especially the last encounter/ climax/ whatever that day was that had the most clarifying result. The whole school knew and even Derek had heard about it.

Haley had been brief about it. She had not wanted to be dramatic. Her relationship with Derek was suppose to be.., well not about Nathan. She thought this was about being easy and simple, but it wasn't. She found herself after five months, in love with the guy. That hadn't been the plan. It was supposed to be a way of forgetting Nathan, an... uhm.. Rebound! Exactly that!

But he had turned out to be so much more.

"Hales.." Brooke's voice extracted her from her thoughts, "uhm yeah?" she replied.

"Don't listen to Lucas.. He's just being the big brother he is. He'll come around. " Haley shook her head as she watched Lucas sitting on Brooke's bed waiting for Brooke to say goodbye. "You said that three months ago Brooke. It's been five months he's not gonna like Derek.

"I'm sorry sweety, I know you want him to be happy for you.." Haley shook her head. That, wasn't it. She hated that she was making everyone unhappy by being happy. She hoped that when she went away for a couple of months Lucas and Brooke could grow closer again and not be on the edge of nothingness.

"I don't, I want you to be happy and him. I hate that you guys are fighting because of this..."

Brooke hugged Haley tightly. Afraid to have to miss her best friend for the entire summer. "Go be happy, don't worry about me." She whispered.

As Haley left the building that had been her home for the first year of college she looked back up at her window. Behind it Brooke stared down, waving. One story down another someone was looking down, staring at her. She quickly looked away.  
>Derek appeared next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Hey, you ready to go?" Haley nodded and smiled. 'I'm ready. Turning in his arms she leaned up to kiss him. "I love you, let's go."<p>

Derek smirked and swooped down once more to kissed him. "Okay, let's get this show on the road."

Haley laughed whole-heartedly and opened her car door, she threw her purse in and looked up at the top window once more.

Waving at Brooke one last time, she got into the car and pulled the door shut.

Nathan shot the ball and watched it swooped down through the hoop, it was easy. He'd been doing it for years, effortlessly. And for the last 8 years, it had been all he had. There had been a day when he thought that being a man-whore was in his past, that he would never be that guy again. And after losing Haley to that guy.. that Derek loser, he was sure he was going to get her back. Instead he became that guy again. The man-whore that played and drank and slept with random girls, only now.. Only now he lived in a multi million dollar mansion while he did it. He hadn't been able to know upfront, that getting to the NBA, at everyone's expense, wouldn't make him happy. At least that's what he told himself.

Haley. In his bedroom hang a life sized photo of her. Her real smile, honest, genuine, kind, with the sparkle in her eyes, crazy blonde curls. It was an old picture.

These days Haley had a head full more sophisticated chocolate brown curls. She also was better know these days as Derek Shephards Fianceé. Not like everyone only knew her like that anymore, but a lot of people talked about it. Mostly Brooke, she hadn't shut up about it since the guy proposed a week ago. Something with a lot of lights and a future.

But he overheard a conversation between Luke and Brooke, that had snapped him out of his haze of misery.

"_Oh, Lucas I still can't believe he finally proposed! I mean it's been eight years! I know they were all about taking it sloooooooow, but finally I get to organize her wedding! It was about time! She caught my bouquet four years ago you'd think he'd gotten the hint after that. _

_Did you know that after that for awhile I was afraid I might have caused a fight. You know, that it forced them to talk about unspoken issues like where are we headed.. ' brooke shook her head. _

_I was soooo relieved when she told me they had discussed the whole getting married thing months before and that they decided they weren't ready! You know at the time she said she knew she wasn't ready because she still hadn't told him what happened exactly that summer before senior year. But then they got engaged this weekend and I asked if she told him now? And she told me that it didn't matter anymore and that that's how she knew she was ready!  
>you know what that means? She still hasn't told him about the aspirin and Taylor. I wonder what Derek thinks of the fact Haley hasn't spoken to her sister in ten years !" and so Brooke ranted on. <em>

That was when Nathan realized there was something about her that she hadn't been confident to share with the guy she had loved for eight years! Longer that she and Nathan had ever been together. He still knew a little bit more about her. A fear, and vulnerability, and a weakness she didn't dare to show.

That's when he snapped out of it. This was his in, to make sure that that girl on his wall wouldn't become Mrs. Shepherd.

The ball bounced on the floor, while Nathan turned around and left the gym. He had been contemplating this for days now, but now he'd made up his mind.

He hadn't actually seen Haley in years. He'd heard about her, Brooke visited on her a regular base, that way he always knew what happened in her life. He also wasn't sure if any of them had any idea about his feeling for Haley. He's sure most of his friends thought he'd moved on a long time ago.

At home Nathan dialled his phone and after two minutes hung up.. he ran in to his bedroom grabbed his bag and threw some clothes into it, at random. He wasn't really paying attention, it all just had to be quick. He zipped up his bag and glanced at the photo above his bed. Staring at it briefly, before he left.

He after all had only an hour to catch his plane to Seattle, where Haley lived these days.


	9. Stealing water with bare hands

**A short feisty new chapter for all those waiting to know what Nathan is gonna do. **

**It's little short of 2000 words so it's not much, but let's say the good stuff comes in small packages. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 9. Stealing water with bare hands<strong>

There were things in life, Nathan had never been sure about and there was exactly one thing in his life he had always been sure about. Haley. That picture hung above his bed for a reason.

He'd hung it there purposely. To remind him of what was sure. To remind him of the one person that had always believed in him. To Remind him what real love was. To remind him what real life was and To remind him to never trust doctors.

He realised perfectly well that the one thing he knew about Haley, that Dr. Perfect hair, didn't, was the one thing he was the least proud of. As a matter of fact; he was ashamed of it. He loved her and he should have blindly trusted her.

Today however was the start of a new era for him and Haley. He sat with his head in his hands in the corner of the bar across the street of the hospital Dr, Derek Perfect hair Shephard was doing his residency.

Yesterday he staked outside the daycare centre Haley single-handedly opened. He watched her throughout the day. She was gorgeous. No difference in the last eight years. Still vibrant and lively.

Today he was going to find the Dr. Perfect hair and tell him. But once he stepped foot inside that hospital he changed his mind. He felt like it was too soon to shows his card.

So Instead he spend all day sitting here hoping to run into him. It was now almost 6 and here and there a couple of hospital staff members came in, after their shifts were done.

However it was late, 11 pm, when Nathan had almost give up, when Dr. Perfect, enter at last, with a beautiful blonde female by his side. Damn. Nathan could feel the anger rise inside of him. The guy had the world most gorgeous woman at home and he was here after hours drinks scotch with some blonde.

The doctor grinned, a smile of perfect white teeth, as the blonde said something. Nathan got up from his table and seated himself at the bar. When the blonde excused herself to go to the ladies room, Nathan hopped one seat over at the bar and said: "And I thought your Fianceé was the only one with secrets."

The guy's head shot up and his eyes widened. "What are you doing here and what are you talking about?" His eyes squinted. Nathan grinned, He decided that cracking their relationship was only possible if he used the info to make Derek distrust Haley. After that the blow of a secret like that would crumble their relationship completely. That's where Nathan would move in, or somewhere before the first cracks and the final blow.

"You mean about you or about Hales?" Nate motioned to the guy behind the bar to get him a drink. "Does the hot blonde know you have a fiancée or do you prefer to keep your 'private' life private?"

The doctor clenched and unclenched his jaw several times before answering. "You always this protective of your ex girlfriends of what? Ten years ago?"

Nathan grimaced an awkward chuckled and 'patted' the guy on the back, not in the least subtle. The guy hit him where it hurt, it had been ten years since had the right the call Haley his girlfriend, but it had been about nine since he last held her in his arms and made love to her, however the biggest mistake, was telling her it was a mistake. He had hurt her, time and time again. He still had the card. He carried it around as a lucky charm to all his games and put it under his pillow at night, when he, after blowing her picture a goodnight kiss, lay to rest in her semi presence.

'I take it it's the latter. So Hales isn't the only one with secrets. Damn, nice couple you are."

Doc, seemed a bit unsettled. "I'm not hiding anything from Haley. Meredith know about Haley and the other way around. Meredith is just a good friend and colleague. "

"riiight." Nathan drew out. "whatever, than just Haley? Although I figured both a secret would even it out, but guess not. Though I do see why she hasn't told you yet. If ever of course. I mean she said yes to your proposal when she told you 'no' so many times before and still hasn't told you. That kinda .. well.. ouch."

Dr. Hair gel, god he was loving the name calling, seemed wildly agitated it was just a matter of time before he would bite. "Oh I'll bite what is it, you are so sure Haley hasn't told me." See? Too easy!

"Well, I would be such a spoilsport if I told you now wouldn't I? I suggest you, my Pal, go home to that fiancée of yours, I'm sure she's waiting and ask her yourself. Then on your way there you can wonder about everything she's ever avoided talking about or gave what seemed like a lame excuse, and think what she could possibly be hiding from you." Nathan threw back his scotch at once. "ahh. Give me a call when you figure it out. Because I know there is a light going off in your head, saying 'he's right! There is something...' but then is she EVER going to admit the truth I mean you're not family yet, and you know how she is about family. Well most of it anyway."

Nathan fakish shrugged off the issue and couldn't help but love the cracks that were already showing. It was probably going to hurt Haley, and he had hurt he plenty, but he was so convince that she'd be hurting so much more if she actually married to man. She was so much better than this guy. Doctor Perfect hair campaign .

"I'm gonna go home. To my future wife, you know snuggle up together n bed, maybe get her pregnant." Derek bragged, obviously because he was having doubts about how much he knew about Haley. Obviously or he wouldn't have added that last part.

"Ha, like that girl wants children. She's scared to death about having them. Guess she never really discussed having kids with you did she?" Nathan got up from the stool and grabbed his coat. "It's getting late, I'm going to turn in, I'm staying in the hotel at townsquare, in case Haley wanted to find me. Good luck man." Nathan patted him on his shoulder and walked out a satisfied smirk spread across his face.

Haley wasn't going to talk, that guy was going to try and pull it out of her all night long and she'd scream at him telling him to drop it, in attempt to hold it together. But that guy wasn't going to drop it. That's where the first cracks appeared.

He counted on the fact that Haley would then come and see him to yell at him for ruining her life. Telling him to get lost, crawl into the hole he came from. But Nathan would make he listen and make her realize that her relationship wouldn't last if she didn't tell him and that if she couldn't there were obviously some unresolved feeling there and something missing trust between them. At last she would see she'd been hiding out with the Doc. for the last eight years and that she would have to face that she still love him.

She'd probably walk out tell him to shut it and leave her alone. He would let her go this time, but she'd be back. Because eventually Haley was going to tell him, or not. Either way it was going to kill them.

Haley rolled over in her bed and realized Derek still wasn't home. His shift ended hours ago and although it was hard to tell whether he got caught up in an emergency or just had gone out with his buddies, she was fed up with it. They barely slept the same hours in the same bed together anymore. It had been like that ever since the start of his residency four years ago. Always out, on call, away. There had been times that he had slept at the hospital for weeks taking every single page that came in. She hadn't seen him now for almost 27 hours.

Just then she heard the door open and close downstairs. "Derek? Is that you?" she called out.

Eventually a tired looked Derek walked in. He took off his clothes and joined her in bed. "Are you okay? You're so quiet." From Derek resounded a huff. "What's that. Are you mad at me?"

Derek sat up in their bed and turned on the lights. "No, I'm not." He said grumpy. "Well, you sure do sound like it." She muttered.

"I was just thinking it's a little hypocrite of you to say I'M quiet. Since you're the queen of not speaking about things. Like your sister, for instance.. or.. my wish to have children. Or your strange allergy of all drugstore painkillers. Do I need to go on?"

Haley frowned and shivered. She hated talking about these topics. There was a reason for Derek's frustration.

"Have you been drinking?" Derek huffed again completely offended "No, darling. I haven't. I'm not drunk. I'm honest. It's time you are too." Haley slid down in bed and pulled the cover up to her neck. "I'm sorry Derek. I Know you think I'm hiding stuff from you, but I'm not."

Derek angrily pulled down the covers and forced her to look at him. With big scared eyes Haley looked up at her fiancé. 'What brought this on?"

"I ran into your ex at Joe's tonight. You know he's in town? Or what he's doing here?" Haley felt like someone dropped a bucket of water over her head. Nathan... He was here? Why? Did he know about her engagement?

She hadn't spoken to Nathan since she left Duke. Their encounter in the shower was still burned into her memory. Hot and full need and want. Desire throbbing in their veins, until he told her it had been a mistake. The pain, the crushing pain that split through her. The confrontation at his dorm. They'd been playing cat and mouse for years, she realized. She wanted him, then the other way around and they kept changing their minds and kept on giving up on the other. She thought that after she met Derek, Nathan had completely given up as well.

But apparently something had changed. She could only marvel at the fact he still cared that much.

"Nathan's here?" She swallowed and then shook her head to clear it. Obviously something he'd said had Derek all riled up.

"What did he say to you? Obviously there is something that's got you asking all these questions."

She was scared of the answer only because deep down she already knew.

"He said you have a secret. And I can only figure it's about you sister or those stupid painkillers you refuse to take."

Haley took a deep breath she prepared for this conversation a long time ago. "My sister and I don't speak. We haven't in over ten years and I am fine with that. She betrayed my trust, so I cut here out of my life. I'd rather not discuss why, because that it something between me and my sister. The fact Nathan told you about it, is merely because he does know what it is because he was my boyfriend at the time. He's trying to rattle you. Don't let him." She went over to Derek and kissed him sweetly. "Let's go to bed okay?"

"No. You're gonna tell me the truth, or there won't be a wedding."

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><p>Okay here you go! Love it? Hate it? please review.<p> 


	10. Now It's Just tears Slipping through

**So new chapter, I was really surprised by all your reviews. I know some of you really didn't like the turn of events in Haley's relationships. With her being with Derek and all. **

**For those of you who were slightly confused about why Haley had such a trouble with talking about Taylor and the aspirin incident, there's an explaination for that in this chapter as Nathan and Haley have their first meeting since college. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10. Now It's just tears slipping through the cracks tonight.<strong>

"Is that an ultimatum?" Haley sat up in bed staring straight into her mans eyes. She rose from the bed and grabbed her robe from a nearby chair. "Because, I'm pretty sure you know me better than to do that."

"It is. Because I hope you'll finally see what your lies what caused us. That fact that the lies you tell have brought us here." Haley was speechless. She hadn't told anyone, who wasn't there when it happened what happened. And everybody who did know, knew not to tell the people who didn't.

The truth was that she could get the words out, open that door. It was too painful. That had been the worst summer of her life. The crushing pain of losing Nathan and almost dying while she had no control over any of it, had left scars the size of swords. Big, deep, uneven cuts, the kind that heal very slow, that result in big ugly scars.

She wrapped her robe around her tightly and left the bedroom. The rushed down the steep flight of stairs in the their living kitchen at the back of their home. She flipped on the lights and put the tea kettle on the stove.

Her kitchen was her sanctuary. From here she built her daycare. It was big and had a country like style, lots of light came in through the back window during the day. She sat down on one of the stool at the breakfast nook, when Derek followed, stumbling into the kitchen. "are you actually going to speak, or are you going to make this go away with your passive aggressiveness?" Derek sat across from her. "Well, You really are gonna fill this night with sipping tea, not saying a word?"

Haley got up to pour herself some tea as the kettle whistled. 'I don't understand why you find this so important." Haley spoke composed. With her cup in her hands she returned to her seat. "You realized that what you consider so trivial for our relationship is what I consider irrelevant. I can't talk about it." Haley's voice shook and her sight blurred up for a moment. "It hurts. I loved my sister and she hurt me. Almost ruined me. And I swore I never wanted to see her again and we've kept to that ever since. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. But it also has nothing to do with us. I never told you about her or ever will, because I can't go there. And It's not any of your business." She spoke still calmly.

Derek chuckled coldly. "It's all a nice sob story and yet you are willing to end our relationship, for this secret. Why is it that you won't tell me the truth."

Haley hung her head sipping her tea. "I can't. I wish you understood that I can't. I'm not doing this to spite you.. or because I don't trust you, because I do! I just wish you could see that it is not relevant."

"If this is so big you can't tell me than I don't know you. This is obviously such a big part of you, that you refuse to share with me! I suggest you tell me what it is, because I'm sure it isn't worth losing me over." He yelled, slamming his fists onto the surface.

"I can't!"

"or are you just waiting for an excuse to leave me. Go back to Nathan? I mean that's what you have always wanted right. For Nathan to want you, truly want you? Even though you've been going back and forth for years since high school you've never really been together, not since your were 16 right?"

Haley abruptly pushed the cup way, throwing it over in the process. "What! You think I wanted to dig into this! I love you. I've been trying to ask you to drop this and I have given up on Nathan a long time ago. So I don't understand why we are having this conversation. Frankly I'm tired. Of this. Of it following me. Of Nathan following me. I am tired." She got up and left the kitchen went up stairs and slipped into her bed. If Derek came to at all she didn't know. She'd fallen asleep right away.

When she woke up the following morning, the bed was empty anyway. When she came down stairs the kitchen was empty as well. She turned her eyes to the note that had been left on the table, the paper crumbled and scribbled on in a harsh frustrated manner, leaving a dent in the sheet beneath it.

"Left for work early, have a 48 hours shift to think about where this leaves us, I suggest you do the same. In case you already made up your mind, you can find your boyfriend at the Townsquare Hotel.

- Derek"

Haley stared at the piece of paper. There was a sense of dread in the last sentence, for the both of them. Because he wasn't sending her away, nor pleading for her not to go see him. But more like a notion that she had to face him to figure out where they stood with their engagement. They both knew Nathan was essential in figuring this out. After all he was the one to light the gas.

Haley hurried back upstairs to get dress, all dressed she dashed down the stairs grabbed her purse and keys on her way out and headed for the Hotel. She needed to face Nathan. She had come too far not to proceed. She wouldn't let Nathan ruin her life again. He had done that over and over again.

She pulled up the hotel twenty minutes later and went inside. She walked up to the lady at the desk, wearing what looked like rather rumpled clothes, like she'd been their all night and her night had been rough.

"I'm looking for Mr. Scott. Can you tell me what room he is in?" The woman looked up from her computer and nodded. "You are Haley James?" Confused Haley nodded. "He's expecting you."

The woman gave her the room number, unaware of Haley mood switch. She didn't bother the mutter a thanks to the woman, as she stormed off to the elevators. She was infuriated with the fact that Nathan 'was expecting her'

The smug son of a bitch, was expecting her. Probably all riled up, after all that how he loved getting her, knowing he'd caused big trouble in her relationship. What she couldn't wrap her mind around however was why? Why now? After 8 years?

She sighed. As the elevator bell rang, to indicate their arrival at the top floor Haley got off. She took three deep breath in attempt to calm herself down. She was going to surprise him with calm timid Haley. She wouldn't let him get under her skin not this time. She was done playing games.

She wanted him to leave Seattle and let her live her life.

She knock composed on his door in the most gentle manner. Waiting to the door the open she trying to keep her hands still and not fumble to much with them. She wasn't nervous of seeing him again.

When the door swung open it revealed a half dressed Nathan, only wearing a towel. "Hales!" He cheered. "good morning Nathan. How nice of you to invite me over through my fiancé. You could have just emailed me." She said nicely and calmly

"It's good to see you Hales." He spoke when he picked up on her composed demeanour.

"I wish I could say the same of you, but your little stunt from last night has Derek staggering. I can only assume that was the aim so... What is it that you came here for."

Nathan was a little taken aback by the calm exterior. He'd expected her to be infuriated. Now that she'd come straight to the point it took him a minute to recover and then plead his case with her.

He pulled the towel off unashamed, in her presence, while she didn't bother to look away. She knew Nathan that way better than anyone. His nude form walked over to his suitcase and pulled out a pair of boxershorts.

"I've loved you since I was 16 years old, Haley. I was ready to marry you when I was 17 and I screwed that up." He began and sighed before continuing.

"I've never stopped loving you though. I remember having finally given into Peyton's excessive complaining and having asked her out during Christmas break, when I found your note in my mailbox..." He bent down over his suitcase and pulled out this little card. "...I had been hoping for you to say these words for so long. But they never came and when they finally came they only had me confused Hales. You waited two weeks before sending me this, two weeks after I wrote you the last note. I thought it was some twisted kind of good bye. Saying you'd miss me." Haley turned around. She found it hard dealing with all those feeling from years ago. Though most of it was as clear in her mind as yesterday was, the feelings she'd tried, again and again to bury them deep.

"I wasn't saying I _would _miss you Nathan! I was saying I missed you and I didn't realize I did until that last note hit my doormat. Only minutes before Brooke screamed at me, for being stubborn. Saying how I should forgive you because you weren't going to hang on much longer and I was going to regret it when you stopped. I told her she was crazy. That I was DONE and two minutes later that card landed on my door mat. And all that was out the window! Because I lo-" Haley stopped talking. She had unleashed those feelings and now she had no hold on them whatsoever.

She didn't dare to look up at him. Her heart was pounding in her chest and breath was ragged.

"You came to Duke to get me back, didn't you? You messed with me and Peyton and I was mad at you for ruining to little bit of normal life I had after you. I hated you for that, that and for ruining me for any other woman!"

Haley sat down on the bed. She knew I was way over due that they talked about all of it. But she was scared, everything had settled a deep sense of uncertainty about herself inside of her.

"You proposed to me and then you left me when you thought I was pregnant? You came running back when you heard to truth but you went to visit HER. And yet after all that you end up hating me? You said that last outing of our Love was a mistake,. You ruined something that was so precious between us and called it a mistake. Making me feel, again, like I was a no good slut. WHY was I the victim of your bad decisions?"

Nathan opened his mouth to answer her question but nothing came out. When emotional he had always been a little erratic.

"Right.. Why are you here Nathan? Why are you again dragging up all of this. I'm finally Happy. You really hate me this much?"

Nathan got up and rushed over to her. "No, Hales. The exact opposite! I love you! We love each other, I'm here to make you see that. I realised that when I heard Brooke say you didn't tell Derek about to aspirin. "

Haley pushed him away. "I don't love you! I haven't for a really long time. Because all you've done in the last ten years is hurt me Nathan!"

Nathan pulled her by her arm forcing her to face him. "If that is so, than why haven't you told Doctor Perfect the reason you don't speak about or to Taylor?"

"Don't you dare say her name!" Haley hissed. 'Why do you still Hate Taylor after ten years Haley!"

Haley pulled her arm out of his grasp and crossed the room grabbing her purse and making a beeline for the door. "Haley stop running! Face it!"

"No! I'm leaving I'm going to try and fix my relationship you so conveniently ruined. Like you ruin everything in my life that you touch!"

"I didn't ruin everything Haley. You are scared! You push me away, because you are scared and you do love me. Otherwise you would have told love boy the truth by now."

Haley stopped dead in her tracks. "the only reason you Hate Taylor so much is because you hold her responsible for breaking us up. And we both know that it you told lover boy what happened ten years ago, he'd see that too."

Haley slowly turned around. "I hate her because she almost killed me, while eliminating everyone who could have noticed I was slowly dying! I could have been dead Nathan. My own sister tried to kill me. Ruined my life and then went on with her own!"

Nathan sighed and turned away. "Do you even hear what you're saying Haley?" he mused staring out the window. 'We were in love, she came along and slowly all that fell apart. We fell apart. She ruined our life. That 's exactly what I've been telling you. You hate her, because you still love me. The day you stop loving me is the day you will stop hating your sister and tell Derek the truth."

Nathan sighed. He never really realized what that summer had been like for Haley. Until today. When she walked in here, calm and composed as she was he realized it. He recognised to look on her face. The summer had been hell for her and the months that followed hadn't been much better. When he didn't hear Haley reply he looked around expecting to find, she'd left. But instead he found her sitting on the floor against the door. Her head in her hands and softly sobbing.

He went to sit next to her, without saying a word. She slowly leaned her head against his shoulder. "I can't forgive her Nathan. I tried. I've stood on her doorstep ready to knock on her door to tell her I forgive her. But I can't. I don't . I hate her." She quietly sobbed on his shoulder.

"She took everything we built Nathan. She took everything." Nathan wrapped an arm around her and pressed a kiss to her head. "I'm sorry, for all the mistakes I've made and for all the pain they caused you. Sometimes I still fantasise about you in that shower. I never regretted that. I only regret telling you it was a mistake. None of our moment together have been a mistake Haley. I love you." He closed his eyes and hugged her close, sniffing the sweet scent of her hair as he buried his face in it.

Haley looked up from where her head leaned on his shoulder, her teary eyes looked up at Nathan surprised at his words. Was it actually possible for him to still love her after all that time. The idea that there was this guy that still loved her after all they had been through. Loved her so much.

Looking back she was drawing back in her memories; That day in her dorm when they put together that bookcase. The flash of vulnerability and love they had that had cracked between them for a moment. The day Taylor came to town and she cried underneath a cold shower. When Nathan found her and held her till Taylor left. comforting her, telling her everything would be better. The day when they moved in together and Dan had yelled at her for being a slut and misleading his son and then got the same speech from Deb. She had sat in their living room crying tears blurring her vision just like now, until Nathan was there wrapping his arms around her and Leaning down to kiss her. Kissing all the pain away.

Haley ran her tongue over Nathan's bottom lip slipping her tongue inside his mouth. Her hands cupping his face. He tongue wandering through his mouth, seeking out all the familiar corners of his mouth. Tasting the love she'd always had in the past as he kissed her. Nathan's hands wandered up over her sides pulling her closer. Their lips slanting over each other, their tongues still battling for dominance, Haley hands wandering into his hair, her fingers knotting the thick black hair. She gripped it tightly wanting him closer, as close as she'd had him all those times before when she needed him. Cupping the back of his head she pulled his head down with her own and she lay down on her back on the floor.

His hands wandered up and down over her sides, slipping underneath her top and running his thumbs over the smooth skin of her tummy. While massaging her tongue with his own.

He reached the clasp of her bra, and didn't think of asking. They were way passed the point of asking each other for permission. There were no longer boundaries, they were in love.

They broke their kiss and Haley lifted her arms above her head letting Nathan free her from her top. Nathan's hands returned to her waist and moved smoothly down to her hips and the button of her jeans. He kissed her neck as she turned her head back. He sucked and kissed and licked her neck, getting high on her moans and whimpers.

Her nibbled on her skin, down her neck to her collarbone to her breast, licking the sensitive skin and grazing her nipple with his teeth.

High pitched moans filled the room, making Nathan grow harder and harder in the pair of boxershorts he'd slip on when she'd come in. He popped the button of her jeans and slid them off her legs. He ran his hands back of her smooth legs dipping them to the inside of her thighs and brushing his thumb briefly over her centre.

"Ahhh..." Haley moaned buckling her hips up at him. Her hands wandered over his broad muscled back, clinging to him. Brushing her chest up at him seeking much wanted friction and buckling her hips into his hand.

She moved her hands over the tough muscles down his back, slipping them into the shorts to feel his tight, taught ass move into her hands. She squeezed his ass, digging her nails into it, urging it to seek that friction with her wet centre.

Feeling her nails dig into his behind and her hips buckle up, he made quick work of losing his boxers.

He detached his lips from her and pulled her up to her feet. Pulling her back into a deep kiss he walked them back to his bed and laying her down on it he covered her petite figure with own, and thrust into her, eliciting a strangled moan from Haley and he groaned as he was finally home.

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><p><strong>So what do you think Is gonna happen? How I Haley gonna cope with the consequences of sleeping with nthan? Is she gonna pull a move like nathan in the shower? or is she gonna be a grown up about it and face up to the fact that she is in Love with nathan and that she can't keep hiding. That she doesn't have to. <strong>

**What do you think? What would you like to see happen? Let me know!**

**- Philine **


	11. Walk of shame doesn't quite cover it

**Hey people! i know it's been a while. I try to update at least once every two months, sometimes more and sometimes unfortunetly less. I know bummer. However one of the last chaptesr of this story is here!**

**Again a lot of yelling and fighting. The truth always comes out right?**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11. Walk of Shame, doesn't quite cover it.<strong>

Haley got home dropped her purse and keys on the table by the door. On the way up the stairs she rid herself of her shoes and along the way to the bathroom her clothes came off and in a daze she disappeared into the shower.

Around 5 that afternoon Derek returned home, after he was sent home because he beat someone up that pissed him off. He had been so fed up with Haley and Nathan's appearance in Seattle he took it out on the boyfriend of one of his patients when he was being a jackass. The chief sent him home.

When he pulled into the driveway he saw Haley's car only half way into the drive.  
>He parked the car and went inside to find his wife.<p>

He search ground floor for his wife and when he came up empty he jumped up the stairs with two at the time. He had a gut feeling something was wrong.

Upstairs he found Haley fully dressed wearing shoes and even her coat sitting on their bed her suitcase packed next to the bed. 'Hales?" He asked, unsure of what to expect from the suitcase. Was she leaving because he asked her to? Or was she leaving because she went to see Nathan and realized she wanted to be with him.

"Hey? I thought you had a 48 hour shift?" She asked.

"Chief sent me home."

"Oh." Haley went back to staring at the wall opposite of the bed.

"Hales, Baby? Are you okay?" He went to sit next to her on the bed and cupped her face to get her attention. "What's wrong. Why is there a suitcase standing by the bed?"

Haley dropped her eyes to her lap. "You don't want to marry me." She whispered shrugging off his hands.

"Oh Haley of course I wanna marry you. I love you. I just want you to let me in. I wanna go what's going on in the pretty head of yours. I wanna understand you."

"No you don't. You don't wanna marry me." She told him swallowing hard. "I.. I slept him Nathan."

Derek's jaw stiffened and his eyes turned hard. "You had sex with the guy!" He roared.

Haley nodded carefully.

Derek gripped her wrist. "Why?" he didn't understand why he was so surprised. After all he knew Nathan was here to get her back and that there was obviously something between them that was strong.

"It hurts so badly. It still hurts. He knows. It was the same for him." She sobbed softly. Derek leaped up and pulled Haley along by her wrist. He wanted the truth and obviously the only way he was gonna get the truth was get it from Nathan.

"open the fucking door Scott!" Derek yelled. At somewhat surprised Nathan opened the door.

He didn't think Haley was going to tell Derek. She hadn't spoken a word afterwards. He'd kept quiet afraid he'd say the wrong thing upsetting her only more. As he looked at her horrifically distraught look on her face he felt his heart tighten at the sight.

"Here you can have her. Obviously you were made for each other. I'm not even gonna try anymore." He swung Haley by her wrist at Nathan. He caught her in time before she could tumble over, holding her securely in his arms.

"It's not your fault man. She has always been mine, it was really just a matter of time." Nathan said somewhat smug.

Haley elbowed him in the gut at the comment. "Ouch, damn Hales." He chuckled loving her feistiness.

"You really are good throwing gas on the fire." She hissed pulling herself from his embrace. "Hey, Hales this isn't all my fault. It you had just been honest about how you felt we could have fixed this 8 years ago."

She scoffed. "Oh that pretty. Now it's my fault. If you hadn't listened to your ass of father ten years ago, all of this wouldn't have happened."

'Hales we been over this today. Pointing fingers isn't gonna help us now." Nathan sighed. She really was all over the place.

"How about the two of you tell what the hell you're talking about. What the hell happened that Haley is such a mess."

"Butt out!" Both yelled at Derek while staring each other down. Derek shook his head. He those two were ever happy together.

"Nathan?" Derek tried again.

"What!"

"Is Haley really allergic to painkillers?" Derek wasn't gonna stop until he got to the bottom of this. Then he'd see how that would work out for him and Haley.

"You told him you're allergic?" Haley rolled her eyes annoyed. "you now a better excuse not to take painkillers?" she snapped.  
>She had pulled herself together and sat down on the bed. Derek was leaning against the wall not planning on leaving any time soon and Nathan didn't really know what to do with himself.<p>

"Can't you just tell him Hales? It's not like you engagement isn't already over."

"No, and No. Derek what are we doing here. If you want to end us, do so and go home I'll get a room. If you're not let's just go home." She got up and took a hold of Derek's hands.

"Please."

"No. I'm not leaving until the two of you tell me what happened ten year ago."

"I left for college ten years ago" Nathan offered. 'Not what I meant." Derek muttered.

'uhm, might just be what you wanted to know.' Haley muttered under her breath.

After two hours of not speaking to each other Haley Nathan and Derek still sat in that hotel room.

Haley lay on the bed reading a magazine. Nathan was staring out the window and Derek sat against the wall watching the both of them.

"Oh look. The top ten stupidest thing a girl can tell a guy. What kind of magazine is this.." Haley snorted

"Let me guess at one. No I swear I'm not pregnant!"

"it should be. Apparently guys don't believe that when their girlfriend tells them. Only what their father tells them." She muttered.

"Oh for god sakes Haley. You were terrified me going to College was going to change something. It was a reasonable possibility!"

Haley shut the magazine and threw it at his head. "Even if I had been pregnant. That was a crappy reason to walk away from me. As a matter of fact, especially then you should have been there, no matter how I got pregnant!"

"But no, mister Scott wasn't gonna get trapped. It's not like he hadn't proposed to me before that!"  
>"oh Haley you and I know both that getting married and having a baby are two completely different things!"<p>

"But I wasn't pregnant! And I told you that! You should have believed me!"

"Haley you were puking your guts out constantly! What was I suppose to think?"

"You should have believed me and taken me to a doctor to figure out what was wrong with me! If you had done that then maybe I wouldn't have almost died!"

Haley was sitting up on the bed pointing her finger fiercely at Nathan with a heated look on her face. "Oh God. Blame me! Yes I made a mistake Haley. But I wasn't the one that switched your birth control for aspirin, that was Taylor "

Derek watched the conversation in silence as they were finally telling him what happened.

"Don't you dare saying her name!" Haley threatened.

"Or what Haley? You'll hate me? You already do. Leave me? She already split us up." Haley started crying. 'Stop it! Stop it!"

"Face it Haley. What happened wasn't either of our faults! We made bad decisions, yes. But my dad and Taylor played the biggest part in what happened that summer.

"Do you even know how scared I was when I heard what happened to you? That you were in the hospital and that you may need a liver transplant! I was terrified. And I wasn't the one to visit Taylor.

She came to me. She told me how much she regretted what she did. That she never realized what would happen if you took the aspirin as your pill. She didn't mean to almost kill you. She tried to fix us. Only because you are so god damn stubborn about hating her for what she did for what I did. All the rest happened Haley. You're too damn stubborn for your own good!"

He came to sit next to her on the bed and pulled her into his arms letting her cry, letting her get all that pain out of her system. "I never loved you any less for it Haley."

Derek slowly got up from the floor and left the room. It kind of knew it all along. Haley belonged with Nathan, she just didn't want to know.

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><p><strong>I think it's just an epilogue after this.. we'll see. <strong>


	12. The Epiloque

**So the last chapter. **

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><p><strong>Epiloque<strong>

Some things are meant to be, like flowers during spring, green trees during summer time. Like the falling leaves in the fall, even snow in wintertime.

Some things you'll want really want, may even not be able to live without; like chocolate, like Rose and Jack, like Romeo and Juliet.

Some things you'll never realize you want, until it's too late.. Like Nathan and Haley.

It's often considered tragic when this happens, but in reality this really is your own fault. It's our flaws our stubborn minds that refuse to show us what we really want. People say if it's meant to be It'll happen and let it go to waste.

Believing love had its own force of nature; is naive. It's cute, but naive. If you can change your fate, do so. Don't let nature decide. 'cause it's also nature that flooded Thailand and Japan, that destroyed Haiti, hungers people in Afrika and send Katrina through New Orleans. Still convinced Nature is always good? Anyone absolutely convinced that if nature decides it has to be that way it's good!

Well, Haley was. Nathan didn't.

He fought and fought hard. And even though he couldn't stand that Haley was fighting him off with all her might. He couldn't help but love her.

But how long can you do that without losing faith? When can you no longer fight life off. To her.. no longer. For him.. life caved.

Haley looked up at the building in front of her. Wary of what today was. Today was Reunion day. Nathan's reunion. And as his now long time girlfriend she was coming with him. Though she was terrified of going back. She and Nathan had left quite an impression among the students at that time. Not to mention the presence of a certain curly blonde attending this reunion.

Nathan gripped Haley's hand in his own. "Let's go." He whispered and pressed a kiss to her temple. The last five years had been far from easy for them. Derek had cancelled the wedding after the show down at Nathan's hotelroom. Haley had had issues with that. For a while she had refused to let Derek take those steps. But Derek had detached himself from Haley in almost every possible way and so eventually She had to come to terms with their separation. She sold her daycare centre and moved back to be close to Brooke and Lucas. Though she'd held off on anything more than occasional contact with Nathan, she too eventually warmed up to Nathan.

After about a year, after the show down, Nathan asked Haley out again. Haley had gracefully excepted, even though she was somewhat wary. Nathan had hurt her a great deal and so much had happened she wasn't sure if they were ever gonna work. After all there was a reason it hadn't work in the first place.

But after the first, second and third date even Haley had to admit, that it really was like old times. And remembered why she once thought of marrying the man.

After that they rebuild their relationship and a steady but slow pace, and now six years after that day in Seattle, Haley and Nathan's relationship was stronger than it had ever been. The past had been forgiven, though not forgotten. About a year ago Brooke and Lucas had their second child and named their little girl after Haley.

Naming Nathan and Haley as the godparents.

Now about a year later Haley and Nathan were expecting their own child. Haley had been absolutely terrified finding out she was expecting a child. After she and Nathan had only been together for real for about 5 and a half years.

Now about 6 months into her pregnancy she wouldn't have it any other way. The past was the past and the future was all to them.

Plus at the news of having a child Nathan had decided to retire from the NBA. After a career of over ten years it wasn't yet overdue, but not extraordinary either. He had a great career, but now he was gonna invest all his time in his child. Nathan wrapped an arm around Haley's waist and urged her forward into the school and auditorium where a long time ago they fought through most of their issues. Or caused half of them. It wasn't a time of a place that held a lot of good memories for either of them so, being back here was tough.

Walking into the auditorium Haley spotted Brooke and Lucas and she quickly pulled Nathan along to where they were standing both holding a foam cup in their hands. "Hey, you guys made it. I was just saying to Lucas, that Nathan was probably gonna pull over every time the baby kicked." She chuckled. Haley grinned and pulled Nathan in. 'He almost did. He's such a sucker for the little one." Nathan sheepishly shrugged, not proud enough to admit that that unborn baby already had him serving to its every need.

"Oh I know what it is like Man, welcome to the club." Lucas grinned, patting his brother's shoulder. "I hate to say it, but I'm a sucker too for my little girl." Haley could only smile, enjoying the view of her family. It had taken her a long time to get it, but now that she had she could only love it. She hadn't realized she wasn't actually unhappy with Derek until she, years later finally was with Nathan. She'd forgotten what it felt like.

She rubbed her belly unaware that she was doing so, while listening to Brooke and Lucas spout proudly about their children. She never considered Brooke a Football mommy, but she sure was. So nothing really was set in stone..

"I guess some things really are set in stone." The somewhat bitter sarcastic voice of an old 'friend' resounded from behind them. Turning around they found Peyton standing there hands in her sides looking upon them in disdain.

"Good god, you're pregnant too, how many'st is that?" She chuckled. Nathan put his arms around Haley pulling her by his side, for all he knew Peyton was gonna smack her to the floor. She rounded up to the table they were standing by while no one spoke. "Oh come on, it's been god knows how many years." She chuckled. "And it's not like we didn't all know you two were gonna end up together, sooner or later." Both Haley and Nathan relaxed a little at her comment. They all knew this reunion had the potential to be very awkward.

"If only I had known, than I wouldn't have bothered." Derek joined their table, as if trying to prove that this reunion was gonna be awkward one way or the other. "Oh man. I refuse to believe nobody told you, you were fighting a losing battle." Peyton laughed. "Ugh, everyone knew. How long did it take you to figure it out, anyway?"

Brooke burst into a fit of laughter at the question and Haley couldn't help herself. They were all well grown up people discussing college relationships with serious faces, Peyton seemed to be the only one to get that they were being ridiculous. "8 years." He gritted through his teeth. Peyton laughed hard, infectiously.

"I had to go get my girl, out of Seattle of all places." Nathan grinned proudly, pressing a kiss to Haley head. Haley elbowed him in his side at that. "ouch, damn Hales."

"Shut your big mouth, boy. You were less than subtle." Nathan could only grin proudly. "That's like 6 years ago or something?" Peyton muttered. "Hang on, you had to go get her back eventually and you waited 8 years for that?" Haley shook her head at Peyton's question. "No, he waited till Derek and I were engaged." Haley muttered, somewhat embarrassed she let that happen. "Ouch." Peyton voiced.

They all got quiet for a little bit.

"But I guess, you worked passed all that. You're pregnant, Married?" Peyton said filling the silence. "Not married, We're focussing on the baby and maybe in the future."

"How are you Peyton. Life's good for you?" Nathan asked, wanting to turn the conversation away from his awkward past with Haley. "Good. I'm great. I got a good job at a record label, have a boyfriend. Life's good."

"That's good to hear, Peyton." Haley told her. The dean began speaking, asking everyone to find a place to sit. Everyone sat down and while lot's of memories were discussed and Nathan was separately praised for his accomplishments and recent retirement.

After the official part of the reunion, Haley Nathan, Brooke and Lucas had agreed to have dinner at the cafe around the corner of campus. But they asked Peyton to come with them and on their way out Clay came running in, having missed the entire reunion, because he got held up.

"Hey, Man. Little late you are." Nathan chuckled. "I was finishing up your endorsement deals."

"You comin for dinner?"

Clay agreed and the group made their way to the cafe. All 6 of them. Having left their issues behind, at college. Now they were stepping into their future having the life they wanted, being happy about their choices, living with the consequences.

And they couldn't be happier.

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><p><strong>it's a little cliché I know, but it's an end.<strong>


End file.
